Far from the surface

Part title

It's been a month since I've last seen Chester and since everything happened. I haven't seen James at school since the fight or maybe I just tried my best to avoid him. I know they normally say things gets better with time but it really doesn't feel that way. I've been cast off from the world ever since that day.

"Hey Jade sweetie we're leaving for church now we'll see you in a bit." I heard my dad and Daisy called out. Without voicing a response I quickly made my way down the stairs. "If it's ok, I'd like to join you guys." I said fidgeting my fingers as I stood in front of my family who now held an unreadable expression on their faces.

My dad did this slight chuckle before holding his head down as if to hide his tears while Daisy had her hand over her mouth. No doubt she was probably seconds away from crying and my brother Benny wore this big cheesy grin. Either they thought I looked ridiculous or they were really happy that I wanted to join them. Either way it was still kind of a sentimental moment. Right?

"Of course honey." My dad said before hugging me and kissing my forehead. You probably thought 'my tragic car accident' would've been what humbled me. But it wasn't even remotely close to what did. It was my selfish and addictive ways that had caused the most unspeakable pain to the person I love most in this entire world that did. Over the past month I've learnt not to take anything or anyone for granted.

I've spent weeks showing up at Liam's house hoping I'd get a chance to just see him. Just to hold him, just to tell him how sorry I was. How sorry I still am. But he was never around and Chester never gave up his location. As for his sister, whatever her name was. She was obviously oblivious to the situation at hand so she was rather useless. So eventually I stopped trying to see him to apologize to him though I know my apology wouldn't do either of us any good. I decided to spend the remainder of my life and get to know my dad. His wife and my brother. Seeing that I really never gave them a fair chance. And it's probably the only thing that hasn't blown up in my face as yet.

"I love your dress." Daisy said smiling which caused me to now examine my attire.

It was a white modern day church dress that had very short sleeves and zero patterns or prints. It was fairly lose and it stopped a little above my ankles. I wore a white double strapped wedge heel to match and the gold necklace my dad gave me. My hair was in a lose bun with a few strands in my face overall I did clean up well. 'Maybe because I've been 'clean' for a whole month.' I mentally chirped before snapping out of my thoughts and mouthing a 'thank you' to Daisy. Who also looked nice her baby bump has become a huge part of her now. But she still rocked her pregnancy she wore a black dress that covered most of her neck. The sleeves of the dress were short it also had a broad belt like fabric. That was initially meant to show where her waist started but due to her condition it was rather hard to tell. The upper half of the dress was close fitted while the bottom half was lose. She also sported a very fine 6' inch heel with a black and gold pocket book. While my face was completely makeup free she wore a bright red lip stick and her hair was down with lose curls.

Seeing that the only photo I've ever seen with my mom were from her teenage years. I'd say my dad got lucky a second time around. We quietly filled an empty row at the front of the church while the bishop presented his sermon. I listened keenly as the time went by and I couldn't help but to think that his sermon was directed to me.

I mean, bishops are messengers from the Lord right? And I somewhat felt like this particular message was for me.

"I would do anything if you gave me a second chance." I whispered to God softly. The truth is I really would a chance to right my wrongs and grow into the woman wants me to be. I want to be my higher self I don't want to keep falling victim to my own mistakes and I certainly don't want to keep hurting the ones I love. I lost my one true love and I can't help but to feel somewhat responsible for Kingston's death. Even if I had no parts, James was smart and he saw a couple pawns and decided to play chess. Unfortunately for the rest of us it was a life and death game, one that caused bonds to break and love to turn into hate. James used me he knew who I was from the start, he knew Kingston was Liam's little brother and he knew he needed a strong storyline before taking him out. He made it seem like I ratted out Kingston, like I was the one who told him that Kingston was actually from Heaven dale and not Green dale. But how couldn't he have known? did they not run background checks on the guys who they befriended? Did they actually think Kingston was ratting them out to Liam? Was he? Liam was many things but he's never been a fake or fraud. He was always certain on the side he represented and he never wavered from it he believed wholeheartedly in Heaven dale and his friends. He never liked the idea of Kingston hanging with the guys who wanted to out him but Kingston was old enough to make his own choice. So Liam allowed him to and he never questioned Kingston's loyalty for him, he loved Kingston and he knew Kingston loved him. He wasn't going to subject his brother to be friends with a side merely to protect his own ego or for his own 'safety'. He truly thought that Kingston was safe and that he had made loyal friends with the guys from Green dale but he hadn't. And I'm sure if Liam had known that the consequences of allowing Kingston to chose his friends would cause his death he'd reconsider. We were damaged by the past and we'll forever be haunted by our decisions that played a role in Kingston's death. But the important part now was how we moved on from this, would we allow it to bury us alive or would we be open to heal and learn. I didn't know apart Chester or Liam but I personally wanted to heal. I wanted to live again, I wanted to love again and I wanted to be loved again so yes, of course I wanted a second chance.

"Is there anyone here today who would like to be saved?" The bishop asked as he glanced in the crowd. I slowly shifted in my seat before looking around in the still crowd. No one moved a muscle as they sat starring at the bishop. I sighed heavily before I rose to my feet and slowly walked to the alter.

'I'm willing to walk this journey with you God, forever and always.' I mentally thought. Before I slipped my shoes off and allowed the bishop to lead me towards the pool of water.