Far from the surface

Ocean Eyes.

The nerve of that imbecile! How dare he think that he can just come talk to me after all that he has done... After all that I've allowed him to do It's been 3years and I still can't seem to fester up the strength to forgive myself. And no matter how badly I wanted to blame it all on James. I absolutely could not. He was a monster no doubt but he wasn't the only monster in this story. Truth is, I was an even bigger monster for falling victim to my temptations. I've hated James for so long and it was so easy for me to blame him for everything because he was never around after what happened. But now that I saw him and spoke to him a high tide of guilt consumed me. It consumed me, for I was the one who created the monster that now lurks deep inside of him. And no matter how much I've changed, no matter how far I've run from the truth or tried to hide even it continues to creep up and nip me in the butt.

I didn't even realize I was crying until my hands reached up to wipe away a few tears as if on instincts. James had left and I was all alone again drowning in my despair. I slowly pulled out my cellphone and googled Liam Andrews the 'famous star quarterback.' I couldn't help the smile that instantly spread across my face as soon as his face popped up. His brother would be so proud of him and how he turned his life around and became a pro baller. My smile slowly vanished as I caught glimpse of a picture of him and some girl. With the headlines 'Andrews' finally popped the question.' I harshly swallowed the gulp in my throat before closing my eyes and allowing the tears to fall. He looked so happy, so different, his eyes danced in a new light they now held an unknown glow.

He was at peace.

I couldn't help the tears that were now racing down my cheek like a race track. Looking at these pictures with Liam and his fiancée made me realize something. That this was really it for us there was no getting back together.

'Aria'

That was her name and as much as I should probably envy her I didn't. In a weird way I was truly grateful that she saved him. She saved him from himself the hint of the devil that usually played in his eyes was gone. I killed him, but she, she loved him back to life. And for that alone, I wish I could hug her. She was a really beautiful too she seemed fairly short and thick in these photos and her hair looked really soft and shiny. It's auburn color really complimented her skin tone. It was also cut into a wavy ombré bob. Her skin was nicely tanned and had a natural sun kissed glow to it. Her diamond shape face really enhanced her prominent emerald eyes and her super thick and tall lashes. They unknowingly highlighted her perfectly arched brows. And her heavy lower lip gave her face an even more attractive yet innocent look. What clenched my heart further was the simple gesture they did in the photo. Both of their hands were placed on top of her stomach as they beamed excitedly at the camera. I couldn't help the smile that was now stretched across my face.

'He truly is happy.'

'Maybe I'll find love again, maybe I won't.
Maybe it'll hurt again, maybe it won't.
But the good news is I'm ready and I'll have no regrets.'

I smiled genuinely at my honest thoughts before my eyes diverted to a pair of soft green eyes. That were starring right at me. Before the beholder smirked sheepishly and waved at me.

"They often say that 'love doesn't fail, and if it does it was never love.' And I can't help but to be amused at the denial that our generation drowns in. I mean, of course love shouldn't hurt but are we really that naive that we believe that everyday above ground is going to be peaches and cream? Are we that naive that we believe that we'll always get a 'happy ending?' Happy endings are and will always be a consistent 'want.' But heartbreak is inevitable. Often times we're going to find ourselves high off a love that never lasts. And it won't be because it wasn't real. It'll be because it was in fact, too real. The adrenaline rush was just too much, the emotional baggage was too much, the chemistry was too much, the power to give in to that love was entirely too much. And so we break, we fold, we relapse, we throw the towel in, we call it quits. We hurt each other, not because we want to. But because the love that we have for each other is just too real. I know we think we know it all, but do we really? Imagine loving someone so much to the point where it hurts them. Where it destroys them completely. People think that 'hate' is what destroys a person. But they've never truly hated anyone as much as they'd loved someone. Hate is deprived from love, without love; there would be no hate. So you see, love is, and will always be the very thing that sustains us, yet it brings us pain. "

- Briana Nia Walker🦋.