The Simplicity in a Need

Chapter 10

My hand immediately goes to my mouth wishing I could take back those embarrassing words. What the fuck is wrong with me. Matt blushes at both Dean and my words. Dean smirks and Cedric holds the blunt out to me as he avoids eye contact.

I take it from him but don't hit it. I stand up coughing awkwardly before going around the coffee table to hand it to Dean. He grabs it but gives me a raised eyebrow and I quickly turn around. To go back to my seat.

I sit with a shaky breath and Cedric comes to stand in front of me with a determined look that he gives Matt and Dean, "yes?"

He gets down on his knees in front of me and my eyes widen in realization causing me to scoot back immediately.

"No wait, please," I grab Cedric under his arms and pull him upwards but he doesn't move and something takes over me. I reach over his shoulder and grab the hair on the back on his head pulling back roughly. He moans loudly and falls back on his heels. His eyes flutter closed, "I said no, we need to talk."

He nods his head in a desperate way and I release him. He pants slightly and looks up at me with needy eyes. I gesture for him to stand up and he does quickly. Returning to his seat and letting out a shaky sigh.

"You looked so determined, what happened Ceddy?" Matt mocks with a laugh. Cedric glares at him and that just causes him to laugh more, "I thought the only person who ever gonna dominate you would be Dean? Huh?"

Cedric glares at me burning turning slightly pink before he hisses, "shut up!"

Dean smirks at them before looking at me, "you seemed so submissive with me, so it depends on your mood?"

This time I blush. It was embarrassing how quickly I submitted to the tall, hot, man. His tattoos stood on on him ripped skin and his dark hair made him seem mysterious. The piercings were also really hot. Maybe I should get some tattoos? To cover my scars.

"But you do like it rough, right?" Matt asks from beside Dean and I chuckle awkwardly.

"I suppose, desperation is a turn on," I respond coughing slightly. How embarrassing. That just makes Matt blush bright red and look away though.

I glance at Dean and Cedric in confusion but they just smirk, cedrics the one who answers my unspoken question, "Matt gets really desperate."

Another pillow is thrown at Cedric and I see Matt even redder. I did vaguely remember him getting kind of desperate when I gave him head.

"You don't get desperate at all though," Cedric asks looking down at my lap causing me to shift uncomfortably, "you're hips didn't even move."

Now I was blushing. This whole conversation was incredibly weird and I was ready to run for the door again. However I just shrug with a cringe, "i- that's a personal issue."

"We're you abused sexually?" Dean cuts in and I freeze before scratching my inner arm roughly as memories invade my mind. I don't answer. I don't think I could answer, so I simply shrug looking away.

"Hey stop that," my arm is being pulled away and I look down to see Cedrics hand on my arm and him looking at shock at my other arm. Which now has blood running down it. I hate myself.

The blood entrances me though. I don't feel the pain. I don't feel any emotional pain either and my anxiousness is pretty much gone as I watch the blood trail every so slowly down to my wrist.

Dean pulls me up off the couch and starts dragging me upstairs. Cedric and Matt trail behind whispering. Dean pulls me into his room and basically throws me on the bed. In which I sit up quickly making sure blood doesn't get on their sheets.