The Simplicity in a Need

Chapter 40

"What kind of tattoo would you get?" My head snaps to Dean as his words break the silence. We had reached their house about 10 minutes ago. Matt had run off to check on Ginna and Cedric had gone to take my things upstairs.

"Something big enough to cover my brand," I respond looking down solemnly.

However fingers grab at my chin and lift my head up. I stare into Deans heated stare with a tired expression, "dont give him that much power over you."

I close my eyes with a deep breath and nod in answer. I wasn't entirely sure that I could do that but I could sure try. He releases me after placing a soft kiss to the top of my forehead. I shove my hands deep in my pockets in embarrassment.

I watch as he walks away into the kitchen just as Matt comes running down the stairs. He looks at me for just a second before smiling widely. I smile back slightly just as he grabs my hand pulling me into the living room. It's so strange how safe I felt in this moment.

I can't believe I hadnt realized before. I didn't feel like I deserved their affection and attention. However the truth is that for some reason I've earned it and they care about me. I have never had that. It makes me feel so comfortable and safe. I am incredibly lucky at the moment.

He points to the couch and I sit a bit awkwardly. Was I intruding to much? No doubt was I being a burden. My fears stem from years of abuse. Could I face those fears and end this? Could I face Jeremy?

Violent shivers rush through me and a small panic attach arises as the images of what he would do to me go through my head. He would be violent. He always got angry when I said no. I probably would be to afraid to deny him.

"Do you need it?" My head snaps to the door where Cedric now stands before hurriedly looking away. I shake my head a little to fast in answer.

I see Dean softly push Cedric forward so he can come in and watch as they take their usual seats. Dean hands Cedric a bag of weed and he immediately starts rolling a blunt. They don't say anything but I think that's why I start rambling because they never expected anything from me.

"It was my mother's brother. They were forced into child prostitution. They were sold by their parents to the local gang. My mother became a decorated sex toy and she thrived in the attention. My uncle however was being raped by grown men when he hadn't even been gay. I guess his past made him bitter. He became obsessed with kyle and I. He's messed up in the head. In his eyes it was probably normal. I've seen his scars. Everyday he'd come home and greet my father," my breathing becomes ragged. I run a hand through my hair and breath out harshly. I shake my head in almost disbelief before continuing, "he was a cop. He got my dad out of trouble and in return he could do whatever he wanted to us. He would come into my room, undo his belt, and I was meant to be on my knees ready. Everyday I had to pleasure him perfectly with my mouth. I became his perfect little whore. If i- if I couldn't get him to come, -then I'd get cut."

"That's why you have to give someone a blow job everyday? You have phantom fear?" Cedric asks looking at me with a deep frown. I breath out deeply and nod.

"I've never been able to break the Fear. Even though he wasn't there. I could still feel the knife slicing through me everytime I forced myself to do nothing, and I have heart problems. So it causes my heart to flutter," I mutter looking down.

"I'm going to kill him," I shiver at Deans dark words and cant bring myself to look at him. I then him him briefly whisper to Matt before im being pulled up and out of the room.

"Where are we going?" I barely get out before he drags me up the stairs. He doesn't answer though. Instead he just keeps pulling on my arm until I follow.

When we get to their room he finally releases me. I watch as he closes the door and walks over to the bed. He then finally turns to look at me. He expression is suddenly shy and I furrow my brows in confusion.

"You once told us that you don't have bad feelings towards sex. You have free will right now. You can do whatever you want to me. Touch me," he says with bright red cheeks and my eyes go wide. I step closer with softening eyes. I reach him quickly and rest my hand on his cheek.

"I'm alright Mattie," I murmur in his ear and he shivers beneath my fingers. I search his face skeptically to find pure want, "what do you want Matt?"

"I've already told you I want you to want me," he replies in a sultry voice. I smile at him and groan out softly.

"Of course I want you," I sigh out and look away in exhaustion.

"Then fuck me Aron," my head snaps back up to meet his eyes in surprise. His face is completely serious. A small frown on his face as he stares at me intensely. I go to speak but he shakes his head, "I don't want to hear that your not sure its okay. You're my boyfriend now just as much as Dean and Cedric are. Do you understand?"

I did understand. He somehow knew immediately that I was concerned the others would be upset and quickly shut down those fears. I grab him closer and an almost excited sound escapes him. I smile into his neck as I kiss it. Yeah, I was incredibly lucky.