Once Upon A Prostitute

CHAPTER 22 - WHENEVER YOU'RE READY

Journal entry
I thought I understood all the symptoms of fear. I learned to deal with them. But sadly, there's always an upgrade.

Mina's POV

Long story short, I had a panic attack. Atleast that's what Eve said. I've never had one before so I don't know. But it sucked to feel that way. It was like my body forgot how to function. I forgot how to breathe. All I could think about was Tetura in the dark room, becoming one of those girls in the videos. I made it to the counter before I started to get dizzy and slid down to the floor. I could hear voices but they seemed so faraway. Things were swaying in front of me, so I closed my eyes struggling to breathe.

I thought I was going to die. Isn't it hilarious? I mean, I've survived rape and human trafficking, drugs and abuse, hunger and cold. And I was going to die of asphyxiation on a planet full of air.

I felt Eve's hand in mine before I heard her. Her faraway voice gradually began to sound much closer. She was telling me to breathe. I opened my eyes and she was right in front of me. I followed her promptings and took a breath in, out, in, out.. they were shallow at first, but got deeper with each breath and I started to feel better. I drew in one long raggedy, shaky breath and I felt whole again. Suddenly, I could hear everyone talking. It was like somebody hit the un-mute button on the radio. I looked around and was able to make out faces Eve, Matt, Violet and two guys I didn't know who I assumed we're customers.

"What Happened?" I asked.

"I think you had a panic attack. But it's okay now. You can rest in the back okay" Eve replied soothingly.

I've heard of panic attacks but I always thought it was something some certain people were prone to and others weren't...like asthma. I never imagined it could happen to me.

Eve helped me to my feet, then told Violet to take me to the back. Once in our office, I sat down and put my face in my hands.

"Are you going to be okay?" violet asked in a small voice. She sounded scared.

"Yeah" I said and gave her a little smile. I didn't want her to worry. Matt came in as well but he didn't say anything. His presence was comforting though and I gave him a small smile as well.

"I didn't know you had panic attacks." Violet said.

"I didn't know too" I mumbled. I suddenly remembered the reason for my entire episode in the first place. The message from Tetura. "Where's my phone?" I asked.

"I'd go get it" Matt said and left.

"You have any idea what triggered the attack?" Violet asked. She looked confused and she had every right to be. One minute we were playing piano and talking about her and Matt's situation. At the time, I was the calm one, she was the panicked one. I'm sure it didn't make sense to her, but I couldn't explain what triggered my attack. She wouldn't understand and I'd have to explain everything to her. I couldn't.

"I uhm...I just had a bad memory" I said pinching my nose.

Matt came in and dropped my phone on the table. I just stared at it. I was afraid to touch it.

"Was it about your dad?" Violet said softly. I didn't tell her about my made-up past, but I guess someone did. I looked at Matt and he looked away guiltily. I wasn't angry or anything. It didn't even matter, it was all lies anyway. And violet was his best friend. Best friends tell each other stuff.

"Yeah, it was." I whispered. I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud. Telling these lies about my dad made me feel like shit. I closed my eyes and felt Violet rubbed my back in a comforting manner.