Hurricane- JJ Maybank (Outer Banks)

22.

It had been a few days. I stayed at John B's but I was starting to believe that I should go back to my mom's. I couldn't stand being here anymore, it brought back all the painful memories of him and all the others. John B seemed to be the only one not angry at me. They were always gone and didn't bother coming by the house, they were outside a bit and I could hear them sometimes but I never heard JJ. John B hadn't talked to me about anything they'd been doing. Instead he just sat in bed beside me and stroked my back and hair while I cried. I swear I hadn't stopped, you would've thought there was no tears left to cry.

"I'm sorry about them. I really am." He said softly.

I couldn't even get myself to speak, he brought me in meals but I refused. I felt so weak and could barely move. He moved me out of bed to take a shower after a week. I didn't fight him, he could easily pick me up.

He set me in the bathtub and let the water pour down on me, while I was fully clothed. He really hadn't thought this one through.

"Kie, can you please come help me?"

"Is it Rachel?"

I heard the concern in both of their voices and saw Kie's facial expression change drastically when she saw my state.

"I don't wanna- ya know."

"I've got this."

John B laid his hand on my shoulder as my head began feeling like it was weighing me down. I let it hang down, staring at the bathtub floor.

"C'mon, Rach."

I just groaned as she pulled me out of my clothes. They were gross and dirty. It was still the same outfit I was wearing the night JJ had told me he never liked me, and it was all fake. My teeth started to bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from crying.

"Did he tell you?" My throat was dry and scratchy as I turned to face Kie as she pulled my clothes off.

"Did who tell me what?"

"You know. Did he say what he talked to me about that night?"

"No, I haven't seen much of him. Just for a bit yesterday."

"Kie, you were right. I should've just listened. He broke me. I can't even take care of myself." I brought my knees up to my face to cover my body.

"I was wrong. I was so wrong, I should've never yelled at you. You didn't deserve that. I don't know what he said but I'm sure he was lying, because I see the way he looks at you, he loves you. And I support it, even if John B has rules."

"JJ and I kissed, several times. But he would always brush it off like it didn't happen. He even lied right in front of JB when he caught us after we got released from jail." I began to quiver. "He said it was all a lie and he just did it to get in my pants."

"He was just upset, he didn't mean it."

"But he did, otherwise, why did he keep on lying over and over? Am I not good enough?"

I bit my lip, feeling more tears beginning to fall as Kie began to wash my hair. I looked to her as a mother figure, because we all know how great my real mom was. You would never catch my mom helping me bathe.

"You're perfect and every guy would be lucky to have a chance to be yours. If he was telling the truth, which I highly doubt he was, he's stupid."

"Why won't he commit? I just feel used."

"Maybe he's scared. He probably doesn't want to lose you and commitment is definitely scary to him, since his mom left and his dad is barely here. He doesn't know what a healthy relationship looks like."