Hurricane- JJ Maybank (Outer Banks)

25.

I had sat and listened to JJ for over an hour. I finally decided to get up and change my clothes. I felt weird, that we could just change in front of each other and were both just okay with it. He didn't look at me, I made sure to check because I felt super insecure around him still. He had seen me at my worst already, why did I care? He continued to talk about the gold, the hunt, Sarah, John B's accident and how Ward took him in. He also mentioned how he got the money and I wish I would've been there to help them when they were attacked.

"J, I'm so sorry I wasn't there. I'm sure that was terrifying for all of you. I'm so glad you're okay." I had just pulled on a tank top as I walked over to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, he remained on the bed. He laid his head into my chest and wrapped his arms around me, making me sink into him.

I just laid over him as he spoke.

"It's okay. I'm okay. We're all okay. I had never felt more scared in my life. I just lost it, we went to the dude Barry's house and I stole his money. It wasn't a good idea but my judgement was just clouded. All I could think about was our restitution and saving you. But my dad. He told me that he was proud of me, for the first time in my entire life. I was so happy, happy to save us. But then he took the money and tried to buy a boat with it. I tried to fight him and told him I wanted to be responsible- and he hit me. He knocked me to the ground, I spit out blood. He kicked me, that's where the bruises came from. But I got the upper hand on him and we were rolling around in the yard- I picked up a wrench." He was staring to get quiet.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm so sorry. You're safe now." I held his face in my hands as tears fell down his cheeks.

"I wanted to kill him. I was going to. But I took the money and got really drunk and spent it all. I'm such an idiot." He opened his eyes to look into mine, tears continuing to roll down his face. "I didn't think about anyone but myself."

"You did a good thing and he still wouldn't listen to you. You were trying. You did the right thing. It's okay." I wiped his tears away as he wrapped his arms around me tighter.

"It doesn't feel like it. Kie and Pope just dug into me last night. You saved me." His voice cracked as he sat up, I remain sitting in his lap. My legs were on the sides of him.

"They didn't know. They were upset but we all are here to support you."

"I just let everyone down. Especially you." He ran his finger down my face, grabbing ahold of my chin.

"You have never let me down, JJ. I'm so grateful for you. You've taken care of me when no one else would. You make me feel like I matter for the first time in my life."

He blinked, more tears falling down his face. A smile finally appeared across his face.

"I don't think I'd still be here if it weren't for you." He said softly.

"I love you, okay? I love you so much."

"I love you." He pulled into me, placing a kiss on my forehead again.

I couldn't escape the feeling that I was letting John B down at this exact moment. I had to do something. I couldn't just sit around and let this all happen. He needed me, but JJ needed me too.

"J, I need to do something."

"What?"

"I need to go help JB. I know you told me not to do but I have to." I stand up but feel his hand go to my wrist.

"You're not going by yourself."

"I don't want anything happening to you, please just let me try and go and talk to Ward."