Something Sweeter - Alec Volturi

XVII. Education

After my latest horrific nightmare I concluded that I needed to take matters into my own hands. I couldn't sit around in fear until something bad inevitably happened. I had to do something, anything, for the sake of my sanity.

While I mulled over my options I spent the rest of the school week keeping to myself. I worried that if I invited Liam into my life I would be putting him in danger. I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to him, no matter how much I enjoyed spending time with him. It was painful not having any friends, though. I was left alone in my own head, scared senseless by my own imagination.

By the end of the week I had begrudgingly made myself accept that I wasn't going to be able to escape the Volturi. I was in too deep. Even if I were able to sneak away from them, I would be found immediately. I'd overheard Demetri boasting about his tracking skills. Unfortunately, tracking seemed to be not only his unique vampire skill, but also the reason he had such a high ranking position in the Volturi. I concluded that the best thing I could do for myself is to become better educated about vampires. The more I knew about them, the more power I had.

So, on Friday I built up enough courage to put my plan into motion. The best way to learn about vampires would be to go to the source. For the first time all week, I went to the cafeteria during my lunch break. I stood in the lunch line and took extra care not to glance around the room. Bella and Edward had their own table, Jane and Alec had theirs. Both tables were on opposite sides of the cafeteria; the warring covens tried to put as much space in between themselves to the best of their ability. I didn't want to see them stare.

"I can't believe it! You finally showed your face around here," Liam said, appearing at my side.

"Yeah," I said, anxiously glancing at the grumbling students behind us.

"No cutting!" a sophomore a few spaces back demanded.

"Okay, okay! I'm just having a conversation," Liam retorted. Then to me, "Hey, do you want to sit with my friends and me today?"

"I can't today. Maybe sometime next week?" I suggested.

"Sure," he beamed before going to the back of the line.

I felt bad. I didn't want to lead him on with my friendship. It simply wasn't safe for him to be associated with me. But that was a problem for another day.

Once I collected my lunch tray, I approached Edward and Bella at their table. They had lunch trays in front of them that were full of food that was completely untouched.

"Your food's getting cold," I joked. "Mind if I join you?"

"Sure," Bella said openly. I was a little taken aback. I'd never seen her smile before.

"Thanks," I said, placing my tray down and taking a seat on the other side of the round table.

"How have you been? We haven't seen you around much," Edward asked.

"I'm hanging in there. Some days are easier than others," I admitted.

"I know what you mean," Bella nodded, her topaz eyes brimming with empathy.

"Oh, right. You kinda went through the same thing when you were..." I stopped before saying 'human'. It felt weird talking about supernatural mythical stuff in the most mundane cafeteria of all time.

"Yes," she smiled. "It's a very unique predicament."

"To say the least," I cracked a smile.

"Have you still been having nightmares?" she asked.

"Yeah. It's the same one," I sighed. "At least I know what's coming each night."

"It'll get better," Edward said reassuringly.

"Thanks," I said. I wished with my whole heart that he was right. "Do you guys mind if I ask you a few questions?" I glanced around to make sure no one was close enough to eavesdrop.

"Of course," Edwards said as Bella looked on with interest.

"Um. What's it like? Not feeding on...humans?" I tried to make myself sound as confident as possible, but it was difficult. "Does it affect you in a different way?"

"Our way of life takes an immense amount of self control. More than some of our kind can, or care, to maintain."

"And we function just fine without feeding on people," Bella added. "We're just as strong and fast as anyone else."

"Oh, wow...so hypothetically, if I were to become...one of you, I don't necessarily have to murder people to survive."

"Yes. But your situation is a bit different. From what Alice can see so far, the Volturi seem set on keeping you in their coven - in life or death. I'm sure you could resist feeding on humans, but it would be much more difficult for you because you would be exposed to that behavior on a regular basis," Edward said.

"Carlisle managed," Bella added when my face fell. "He stayed with the Volturi way back in the day and he didn't feed on humans. So it's not impossible."

"And Bella has never killed a human, either," Edward said.

"Really?" I looked at her with a new sense of respect. "That's amazing!"

"I'm weirdly good at being a vampire," Bella said modestly. "It's okay if you make mistakes. It happens."

I nodded, feeling a huge weight lift off of my shoulders. The Cullen's way of life was something I could process. It was something I could come to terms with.

"The Volturi aren't the ravenous monsters you think they are. Their sole purpose is to protect our kind from being found out by humans. They are as civilized as we are, but they have much more self control. They've been at it for millennia, collecting soldiers when they come across particularly talented vampires," Edward said, hearing my conflicted thoughts.

"Like you?" I asked.

"It's still a choice for us," Edward said.

"For now," Bella said darkly.

"Are most vampires like the Volturi?" I asked.

"Not by a long shot," Edward chuckled. "Most vampires don't have such self control with feeding, and most don't have the ability to live in covens larger than two or three people. The Volturi focus on enforcing the law. They actually save more humans than they kill in the long run, although it's not exactly intentional."

"So...the odds of Alec killing my entire Spanish class are low?" I asked.

"Practically nonexistent," Edward confirmed. "There's no way they would be that messy, or risk being found out."

"As long as no one finds out about vampires the Volturi won't bother them," I said slowly, connecting the dots.

"Unless they're hungry," Bella frowned.

"Oh," I exhaled and smiled a little.

"Don't be mistaken," Edward said. "At the end of the day, the Volturi do whatever they please. They are the biggest and most powerful coven ever. It's usually within everyone's best interest to lay low and comply with them when it comes down to it."

"Right," I nodded.

Things suddenly seemed a bit better. Things weren't good, but they were better.