Chapter 39

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Alex

Watching Leah panic after realizing her legs didn't move was one of the worst moments of my life. Hear fear stricken face will be singed into my memory for many years to come. Watching her get angry about how guilty I was made me realize how right she is. She doesn't need my pity, my guilt, or my regrets. She needs my help.

We got her situated back at home and she rested for a few days, growing antsy being stuck in bed all the time. Unfortunately, her legs didn't show any sign of improvement. The doctor said there was no way to know how long it could take, or if she would ever regain feeling. Leah refused to cry. She said tears wouldn't make her walk again so she wouldn't waste them. Part of me was proud of her, the other part was worried. I can't imagine how she will deal emotionally with the loss of her legs.

As much as I hate her suffering, I was honestly enjoying spending so much time with her. We talked and I managed to make her laugh. She taught me how to use Netflix and had me watching shows about werewolves that were hilarious. Inaccurate, but hilarious.

In the quiet moments though, I could see her mind wandering. Her eyes would look far away in thought and my heart hurt as I imagined what she was thinking.

A week after the battle, she was tired of laying around and decided she wanted to be out among the pack. The doctor had gotten her a wheelchair and although it was obvious Leah hated it, she didn't want me carrying her all over the pack either.

Even though I offered to.

I pushed her down the sidewalk that led to the clearing where the children were playing games. Leah watched them with a sad smile. It was one of her favorite things to do, play tag and hide and seek with the pups. When they saw her they all got excited and ran towards us, hugging Leah, climbing up on her lap, telling her all of the things they've been learning at school.

A real smile replaced the sad one from before and I saw a glimpse of my girl. Her eyes sparkling and warm with laughter. Once the children returned to their game, I leaned down next to Leah, tucking her hair behind her ear and kissing her cheek. She gave me a shy, sweet smile that made me chuckle.

"They love you." I say quietly and she nods, looking back out at them.

"And I love them. But what kind of Luna will I be stuck in a wheelchair? They deserve better than that." She murmurs and my brow furrows in frustration.

"Leah, baby. You protected them. Saved them. Without you who knows how that battle would have ended. Likely with more death. We will always be grateful to you for preventing that. You are everything a Luna should be and more. I'm so proud of you. They are so proud of you. Please don't sell yourself short." I plead. She nods, but doesn't really look like she believes me.

We go around the rest of the pack, members greeting Leah with smiles and hugs. One woman gives Leah a tearful thanks. It turns out Leah saved the woman's mate during the battle. That seems to cheer Leah up significantly and I thank the woman for that, looking down at my little mate with fierce pride. She's so incredible.

"I have some paperwork to do for the transfers. Will you come to my office with me?" I ask and she nods in agreement. I turn her chair and start back towards the packhouse. She looks to be in thought for awhile before looking up at me curiously.

"How many transfers do we have?" She asks and I grin down at her.

"Thirty mated couples. Nearly all of them warriors. Our pack has never had that many warriors at one time. We'll be able to shorten patrol shifts and spread them out more. Things will run smoother and the pack will be safer." I say and Leah smiles up at me.

"Good. I'm glad." She says and I lean down to kiss her head.

"It's all because of you." I say and she snorts out a laugh.

"No, Alex. It's because of you. You saved me, you accepted me, you chose me as your mate. Without you the wolf world would be exactly the same." She says and I sigh a little.

"I wish there was more I could do. Some way to change more hearts and minds. To show people that humans are just as special as us, only in a different way." I say sadly and Leah reaches her hand up to cover mine, the easy comfort welcome and sweet.

"We will. One day at a time." She says quietly and my heart expands with affection.

"I don't know how anyone could spend a moment with you and not fall in love with all of the human race entirely." I say sweetly and Leah snorts before rolling her eyes.

"Kiss ass." She murmurs under her breath and I can't help but laugh until my stomach hurts.

"But you love me." I say smugly when I've gathered myself. She gives me a sweet smile and nods.

"I do. You ridiculous wolf." She says and I chuckle again, kissing her forehead as I push her into my office. I help her lay down on the couch and she takes out her tablet to read a book.

I sit down and start working on the paperwork for the transfers. I must work for a couple of hours until my eyes become sore from the strain and my hand aches at filling out the paperwork. But Jeremy and his mate will be here tomorrow and I want to make sure all of their paperwork is done so they can move in to their new house with no issues.

Leah yawns a little and shifts on the couch, catching my attention. She looks adorable all bundled up in the blanket I keep in here for her. I watch her for a moment, but she settles back down quickly. I scribble a few more things out onto the paper in front of me when I see her shift again. She has a little scowl on her face and she huffs in annoyance.

"You alright?" I ask and she nods but doesn't say anything. I go back to my paperwork until she groans in annoyance and sets her tablet down.

She reaches for the wheelchair next to her and tries to slide over into it. I stand and walk over to her, reaching my hands out to lift her.

"No, Alex. I need to do it by myself." She says sternly.

"Where are you going?" I ask even though I already have an idea.

"Bathroom." She says curtly and I nod. Despite my repeated attempts to make her feel at ease with me helping her in the bathroom, it still upsets her. I hate that it makes her uncomfortable and if she wants to do it herself, I'm more than happy to let her.

I watch her struggle for a moment, trying to figure out the logistics of sliding herself into the wheelchair. I fight the urge to scoop her into my arms and set her down myself, knowing that will only piss her off.

If this is what she needs, a sense of independence, I will damn sure give it to her.

I watch a couple more attempts before she swings herself and misses. I reach down to catch her before she hits the ground and set her carefully in the chair. I kneel down in front of her as her face drops to her hands. Her shoulders shake with sobs and my heart breaks watching her.

It's the first time she's cried since she woke up to find her legs not working.

I rest my hands on her knees, just so she knows I'm here if she needs me. I run my fingers through her hair and after a long while her crying slows and she takes heavy breaths.

"Little one..." I murmur, begging her to look at me. Her eyes pop up to mine and the depth of her pain nearly knocks me on my ass.

"Is there anything I can do?" I ask, already knowing the answer is no. But I can't help but try. I would do anything to take away her fear and pain. Anything.

"No. There's nothing you can do. There's nothing anyone can do!" She yells, anger replacing her sadness. Frustration is evident on her face and she let's out a little growl, clenching her hands into fists.

"It's not fair! It's not fucking fair! I just want to do it myself!" She says, her foot lurches forward and kicks the side of the couch.

My mouth drops open in surprise as I look from her foot to her face with wide eyes.

"Leah... did you just move your foot?" I ask, astonishment clear in my voice.

She huffs out a little laugh before a sly smirk takes over her beautiful face.

"Yeah, Alex. I think I did." She states proudly.

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