ch. seven

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Mixed emotions is what I felt the next morning when I woke up.

My lips were still slightly swollen from all the making out that Jean and I did last night. I traced over them with my finger gently, sighing.

Butterflies erupted in my stomach at the thought of Jean's lips on mine. The way he held me while aggressively smashing his soft lips against mine had me feeling giddy.

But, the thought of Eren was still in the back of my mind. I know we're not on good terms, but I still feel guilty for kissing Jean. I don't know if it's because they don't get along, or if it's because deep down, I kept wishing it was him instead.

I shouldn't be wishing that. Eren was my best friend. I shouldn't feel this way about him.

Even though I'm uncertain with this thing I have going on with Jean, maybe I need it. Maybe Jean was onto something when he suggested we do this. Perhaps this could help me forget about Eren faster and these complicated feelings for him will disappear.

I looked at the time, noticing everyone would be gathering for breakfast soon. I quickly took a shower, all my favorite scents mixing together and creating a heavenly smell.

I got dressed in no time and made my way down the hall to the cafeteria. Before I could get there, I felt myself being pulled into a room. Jean's face appeared in front of mine, a sly smile on his lips.

Before a word could even be said, he grabbed my face and kissed me hard. It took me a moment to kiss him back from the shock I was feeling. Jean wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me even closer to deepen the kiss. After a minute, we both pulled apart.

"Good morning, my favorite girl."

"Good morning, Jean," I smiled up at him flirtatiously. I tried to ignore the gnawing feeling that was telling me to stop all of this.

"Let's walk together, yeah?" Jean grabbed my hand, going to open the door. I stood in his way, causing him to stop in his tracks.

"Wait, Jean," I let go of his hand. "Can we keep this between us? I don't... I don't want people knowing. Because, you know, we're not together."

Jean's brows were knitted together, and he was quiet for a second before shaking his head, snapping out of it. "No, yeah. Yeah you're right, I don't know what I was thinking," he chuckled.

"No hard feelings okay?" I poked him playfully.

"I know, I know. Now let's go eat."

. . .

Jean and I walked into the cafeteria together, our hands not intertwined. It was normal for us to eat together, but I was especially paranoid of anyone getting the wrong idea considering I'm being a sneaky bitch.

Jean and I sat across from one another, joining in on Conny and Sasha's conversation.

"About time you two made it!" Conny yelled, punching Jean in the arm. His loud tone caused some people to glance over at us, including Eren.

I watched him as his gaze hardened. I didn't fail to notice how when he met my eyes, he looked away quickly, pushing his food away from him.

Armin noticed this, and gave me a sad smile. I smiled back at him, and swallowed hard as I looked away. A lump formed in my throat, so I focused on my friends to help distract me.

"Did you guys hear? There's gonna be a celebration in town. Who's going?" Sasha asked excitedly.

"We know you are if there's food," I laughed. In return, she slapped me hard, causing me to bite her finger.

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