III - Rotten Dreams

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TW : Mental Health

His voice echoed through my whole body as I woke up, leaving me breathless in the middle of the night

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His voice echoed through my whole body as I woke up, leaving me breathless in the middle of the night. Lolita. He had called as I was leaving him. Lolita. He had spoken my name in question. Lolita. Lolita. Lolita.

I rested my sweaty forehead on my shaking hands, replaying the dream over and over in my head. Morpheus, Matthew, Mervyn, Lucienne, Morpheus. My heart felt close to imploding. Something tore at it, twisted it. I felt like I couldn't breathe in my own reality. This world was pressing a heavy burden down on my sunken shoulders. My eyes couldn't open, they were too heavy. I must've woken normally for the first time in my life. Which was too early.

I let my body fall back into the soft mattress like it was made of stone, breathing low in the quiet of the night. Had that been a nightmare? "Morpheus." I whispered into the air like a sinful prayer. I was scared of him. He made me feel this way. How would I call my parents, half-sleeping.

How should I explain to them, that a voice caused all of this? A nightmare? He was a nightmare. He made me leave the castle, leave my friends. What else should he be?

Getting up took me another hour.
When I looked at the clock on the wall, my heart got stuck in my throat. No, I hadn't been sleeping too little. I had been sleeping too long. I slept for over 20 hours. How come I was still alive? I grabbed for my phone, making the bright screen temporarily blind me. The missed calls and messages followed as soon as I unlogged it.

Eleven missed calls from Mom.

Nine missed calls from Dad.

I suddenly felt empty inside. Like all life had been sucked out of my body, all fuel left to rot. I only noticed the tears running down my cheeks as I was dialing in my mothers number, feeling them sink to my ears, sometimes down my throat.

It took me ages to call her, and when I did hear it ring, I let my phone drop all exhausted, staring against the wall, listening to the silence. My body felt exactly how it should feel after 20 hours of sleep.

"Christ, Lita, what happened? Are you okay? Why didn't you call us?" She practically screamed into my ear, though I was too tired to move the speaker. "We were worried sick!" I had been dreaming, mom. And now that I woke up, I wanted it back.
I wanted to close my eyes so bad.
Silence echoed again, she must've heard my runny nose, my high-pitched voice.

"Baby, don't cry. We're here. It's okay."
But they weren't here, were they? And nothing was okay, because I could dream on my whole life, and I would never get enough of it. Reality felt nothing but a dream. Like a lonely shit-show. Maybe Morpheus was there to show me just that.

He appeared as a nightmare to wake me up, show me how bad reality truly was.
That even a nightmare felt better than another day spent all alone in trance, walking blindly in the life I'd been gifted when I was born.

"Sweetie? Lolita? Are you there?" I tried my best following my mothers voice. "I'm here." I assured her, before a crack on the line made my fathers voice appear. "She suggested we come over, alright? Just this once. You mother and I will make your favorite soup. You can tell us all about your dreams." A broken smile crept over my lips, a sob ripping through my soar throat. "Lita?" He asked, hopeful.

It was in that moment that I realized I hadn't seen my parents in over two months. I did call them everyday, yes, but I haven't seen them. And I realized that I've missed out on one of the biggest reasons for me to stay awake. Dreaming without having to sleep. It was them.
I let my pyjamas sleeves soak up my tears, trying to get myself together.

"Okay." I said.

Morpheus could rot.

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Y'ALL THE SUPPORT YOU SHOW THIS BOOK IS INSANE, THANK YOU SO MUCH!! ♡♡♡

This chapter was a bit shorter! I know it got a little dark- Don't worry, it's still a romance :') Didn't forget about that! Hope you enjoyed this chapter <3

Better stay tuned for tomorrow 👀
Might get to see some weird pigeon-feeding emo-man?

Better stay tuned for tomorrow 👀Might get to see some weird pigeon-feeding emo-man?

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