𝐀𝐆𝐄 : 15
𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 : 1 6 1 9
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: sh mentions, blood, blade
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y/n's pov:
i don't feel like me, i feel like i'm stuck. i'm trapped, i can't help myself. i want to know why i feel like this.
Right now, i'm sat here in the corner of my bathroom with a bloody blade sat next to me as i desperately try to clean my arm up. i try to cry as quietly as i can knowing my mum was going round cleaning the house up a little bit
After sort of wiping it all up with a tissue, i throw it down the toilet and place my blade where i know it's safe and hidden. My mum knew about all this, but she doesn't know that it's happening again.
you see, i started self harm when i was around 12-13, and mum thought it was all over now. but really it isn't, it's just getting a whole lot worse.
After successfully hiding everything away, i washed my face and pulled down my sleeves, before exiting the bathroom.
I walked straight forward and plopped myself on my bed letting out a deep sigh until i heard a knock at the the making me groan quietly to myself. I quickly tucked myself under my duvet and turned my back to the door, pushing my hair over my face
"y/n, baby" Mum said opening the door and slowly walking in, i was so silent i could hear her breathing. she closed the door, i don't know if it was a trick but i could still hear her so i didn't move a muscle
"are you sleeping my love, or resting your eyes" Mum asked, half serious and half joking. I heard her footsteps grow closer until i felt a dip in my bed behind my body.
I heard some shuffling until i started to realise it was my mum trying to get under the duvet with me. I was wearing shorts as i never did it on my legs, so once her legs touched mine, as she was also wearing shorts, i knew she was under the covers with me.
"i love you, so much" Mum whispered kissing my head in between each word she said and moved the hair out of my face, i tried so hard not to smile and let out a tiny one before removing it from my face, i also tried my best to make sure my breathing was longer and deeper so it definitely seemed like i was asleep.
"Y/n, i know your awake" Mum chuckled, i was not giving up that easily. I stayed out and continued my fake sleep because i knew if i owned up she would ask me why i was sleeping at 2pm, and if i said i was tired she wouldn't believe me.
"Y/n, i'm bored. i need to talk to someone" Mum groaned shaking my shoulder, Mum sighed realising she wasn't going to get anything out of me by doing this so she just gave up and leaned her head against my shoulder
"do you know how proud i am of you" She started, i take a silent deep breath trying to shake it off
"yes? i'm so lucky to have a daughter like you" Is she serious, is she so lucky to have a daughter like me, who would want a daughter like me.
"Your my best friend, in the whole universe. Out of everyone i know, i trust and adore you the most" She continues, i tighten my eyes closing them harsher trying to hold back the tears inside of me
"your funny, your pretty, beautiful actually, your like a mini version of me, your laugh is adorable" She rambles on, right now i want to turn around and stuff my face into her chest, sobbing.
"I trust you with my life y/n, with every bone i have inside of me. I want you to realise that my love, that your worth every part" I sniffle a bit, i try to cover it up by shifting around a bit to make it look as if i was moving in my sleep and turn over onto my stomach and my hands over my head, i wanted some comfort so decided to stretch my arm out reaching over and placing it onto my mums stomach
