Cold Fame || ENHA

16. Trust

October 27th, 2020

As I had expected, Heeseung had been ignored me for the past week since I had been drunk. I wish it didnt hurt so much. It's not like I've had much of a chance to see him anyway, work wise we arent doing much.

Besides all we have really done is work on choreos for b-sides. I think I'll just buy a few drinks to stock up for a few days. Maybe have a huge celebration alone for our debut.

Otherwise I've been slumped in my bed, still as a rock. Taking long silent showers for an hour or two every night was the most exciting part of the day. That's sad to even think about.

I felt more like crying everyday. I'm so tired I cant do this anymore. I dont have the energy or mental capacity to handle anything. I think that's why I like being drunk.

It gives an escape. I think that's what's so dangerous. I just dont care anymore really. I slowly got up, slouching. I stepped down the stairs and rummaged through my dresser.

I put on legging and a big sweatshirt. This is fine enough. I've washed all my clothes so I had better outfits but theres no need for it. I got a small bag to put my wallet and phone in.

With that I put my shoes on and was out the door. I purposely closed my door loudly then I leaned against it waiting for Heeseung to come out of his own dorm.

He never walked out. I heard talking from in their dorm but no footsteps approaching the door. Why did I want Heeseung to walk out so bad? Maybe he didnt hear the door.

I opened my door again and closed it after a few seconds so it didnt seem suspicious. Finally did footsteps slowly start to approach the door after a few seconds. I quickly bolted halfway down the hall so it didnt seem weird that I was just sitting infront of my door.

The door opened followed by fast feet approaching me. I spun around in surprise to see Jay instead. He grabbed my shoulders and stopped me. "Jeongmi. I can just tell by your eyes where you are going." Jay spoke rather quick.

I frowned trying to escape his grip. "No Jeongmi. I'm not allowing you to do that to yourself." Jay stated clearly, holding me in place. I think he forgot but I'm old enough to decide what I want to do.

I pushed him away gently and quickly began to walk down to the elevator. "Fine I'll get Heeseung." Jay said, turning around and running back into their dorm. I waited by the elevator for a while, not pressing any buttons.

Eventually Heeseung came rushing out looking angry. I couldnt be shocked by his emotions but I sure was nervous. The moment he got close enough he grabbed my arm tightly. "How many goddamn times must I tell you that enough is enough?! Stop this shit!" He snapped furiously.

He was livid. I was surely shocked by his tone, my eyes widening as I tried to back away but Heeseung was holding on real tight. His grip honestly hurt. I deeply regret trying to get him out here.

I just want to see the sweet him. If this is what I have to go through to see that side of him then fine. Something about him being sweet was like drugs, I couldnt get enough of it.

I tried to pull his hand off but couldnt. "I'm serious Jeongmi. We havent even debuted yet and you're going to ruin it for yourself and the rest of us." Heeseung hissed rather quietly. His words hit hard.

I fumbled while pulling out my phone. I've never typed so fast in my life. "Its only on break I promise. I have no reason to ruin any of your careers and unlike you I dont have friends Heeseung. I need something to pass time." Then I showed him with a shaky hand.

Heeseung was taken aback, letting go of my arm. I waited for a response while I put my phone away. "Fine but I'm not letting you go alone. Especially since it's like 10pm." Heeseung finally agreed.