I Love You Just the Way You Are (Book 1- Rock Canyon Series)

Chapter 11 - Maddie

Chapter 11 – Maddie

"Wow, they actually said to that you? That's awful," Charlotte said, in a small voice just above a whisper.

I shrugged and shifted away from the sunlight pouring into my room, the after images of tree branches glued to my mind when I blinked. I was in my usual position for these conversations, slouched across my bed the short way, with my arms hanging limply at my sides. My hands felt fat from the blood pooling in my fingertips, but I didn't care enough to move.

I tried to reconnect with what Mark had said at the café, that I was enough and that it didn't matter what anyone said, but it was a struggle. All I could feel was the sharp pricks of their laughter when I closed my eyes, the sound cutting me up into a million little pieces in front of the entire cafeteria.

I heard a soft knock on my door but didn't bother to respond. Since it wasn't Charlotte, it was either mom or dad and I knew they'd come in no matter what I said. Sure enough, the door opened, and mom stuck her head in.

"Hey, Maddie, mind if I come in for a sec?"

You're going to anyway, why ask?

"Yeah, sure, come on in," I said and swept my arm across the room in a sarcastic welcoming motion.

I watched out of the corner of my eye as she shared a silent conversation with Charlotte, mom arching her eyebrows and mouthing something I couldn't catch.

I hadn't seen that fearful, "verge-of-tears mom" look since last year. The scrunched-up eyes, the mouth that looked like a half smile, half frown... if that was even possible. I knew she would be worried that I was going to regress back into my old self-injury patterns. A part of me could understand her fear but a bigger part of me was angry that she didn't trust me.

I turned and looked at her. For a second, I saw an older Charlotte. And what should have been an older me.

"Your dad told me you had a rough day at school. I'm sorry to hear that sweetie," she said.

I flipped my hands in a shrug. "Eh, I knew it would be hard. Don't worry, I'm not going to like freak out or anything. I didn't get my hopes up too much."

Mom moved to sit on the edge of the bed. She was holding a large sheet of paper, but I couldn't tell what was on the other side. Charlotte careened her neck around to get a better view and let out a gasp.

"WOW! Who drew that? That looks just like Maddie!" She yelped, coming closer to the picture.

I sat up abruptly, my heart instantly pounding. "What? Let me see that!"

Mom flipped the picture over and sat it gently on the bed. My eyes must have almost fallen out of my head because I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I pounded the pillow next to me with a clenched fist.

"Who drew this?" I demanded.

"Kellan left it with your dad after your... conversation with him," mom said, her answer sounding more like a question of whether I could handle this.

I snatched up the picture and stared at it. I could feel the lump in my throat expanding, threatening to erupt at any moment. I wanted to rip the drawing to shreds but for some reason I couldn't.

"Wait... hang on a sec... we're not talking about Kellan Davis, are we?" Charlotte asked excitedly. When neither one of us answered, she almost squealed.

"You're kidding right? Oh my God, Maddie, Kellan Davis drew this for you! I thought you said you had a bad day!" She giggled but stopped when I tossed the picture across the room like a frisbee and sank my head into my hands.