I Love You Just the Way You Are (Book 1- Rock Canyon Series)

Chapter 21 - Maddie

Chapter 21 – Maddie

I heard a soft knock on my bedroom door and opened my eyes to find my room still mostly dark, the sun not yet risen.

I heard the door open and considered pretending to still be asleep. I wasn't ready for such a ghastly thing as Monday morning just yet.

"Hey," Charlotte whispered.

I sighed audibly and sat up. 

If she's waking me up this early she must have something important on her mind.

"Come in," I croaked, frowning at how deep my voice sounded in the morning before coffee.

She tiptoed in, closing the door gently behind her. I felt her climbing into my bed, so I scooted over and offered her some of the covers. She got under, but kept fidgeting, her legs moving up and down like a metronome. Now awake and growing increasingly annoyed by what seemed to be an unnecessary intrusion into my morning routine, I rolled toward her.

"Is there a reason you shaved an hour of sleep off my day or are you just feeling especially cruel lately?"

The fidgeting stopped. 

Thank God. 

"What do you mean especially cruel lately?" she said softly, and the guilt was instantaneous. Being me, I pushed through it.

"Well, after your little adventure with Kellan around the neighborhood last weekend I can only surmise that you've woken me up to tell me that you want to date him. I saw how excited you were at the table. It's not like I don't know what you're thinking when you look at his-"

"Ow! What the hell?" I yelped, rubbing my freshly kicked leg. I was about to shove her out of my bed when I saw the tears in her eyes and became confused. I put my hand on her arm, my mouth flying open to apologize, but she spoke first.

"Maddie... I love you. I'm never going to take something away from you that I know you want... even if you don't know you want it, okay? This isn't about Kellan... it's about something else..."

She trailed off and I waited patiently, trying to ignore the part of myself that agreed with her about wanting Kellan.

"Okay, well what was important enough to wake me up for? What's wrong?" I asked, more conscious of the way I was speaking. Pre-coffee conversations were never my strong suit, especially after becoming seriously addicted to the liquid essence of joy over the summer. It helped me wake up and remember to work with my voice so I didn't dysphoric about it. 

"I'm... I don't think I can say this. I'm not as brave as you are," she said, turning away from me.

"Whatever it is, you know I'm here for you. You've always been there for me even though I haven't deserved it. You can tell me anything. I'm not going to judge you Char." I reached out and brushed her hair with my fingers.

She sniffled and everything came pouring out at once, her voice sounding like a YouTube video being played at 4x speed. "I'm gay. That's why I asked you for that book and it's why I'm always trying to hang around when Destiny is here, and it's why I wanted to vomit when I kissed Trevor Parks over the summer and he felt me up and it was just so unbelievably disgusting but when I think about kissing a girl my heart does backflips and-"

I sprang to her, crushing her in an embrace. "Shh, it's okay, I understand. It's nothing to be ashamed of." I paused, trying to think of what Mark would say. Coming out had always been about me and never about anyone else. I hadn't considered that since I was queer people might feel comfortable sharing with me. 

Shit, my sister trusted me enough to start her journey here. I'd never felt so close to her than in this moment and yet I felt like an idiot at the same time.