Chapter 38 - Kellan

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Chapter 38 – Kellan

I peered into the living room and saw mom slouched on the couch. I'm getting ready to explode but stop when I see the coffee mug in her hand. She looks up at us, her eyes going wide for a second at the sight of Maddie. The puffiness under her eyes resembled a dirty sponge. I heard Maddie close the door behind us and I walked to the edge of the living room.

"Hi, mom. Umm, this is Maddie, my girlfriend. We got back together yesterday."

I expected a smirk, but instead she smiled. "Hi, Maddie. It's nice to meet you. I'm Suzanne. I'd offer you a seat, but I really need to talk to Kellan about something important, if you don't mind giving us a few minutes."

"Mom, anything that you want to say to me you can say in front of Maddie. I'm just going to tell her anyway."

Mom nodded, looked out the window for a moment, and then looked embarrassingly at Maddie.

"Maddie, I'm sorry I look like hell and the place is a mess. It's been a long night... long life actually," she arched her eyebrows in a slow, lazy motion.

"No, please, it's fine," Maddie said. "I caught you off guard. You didn't know Kellan was bringing a guest. My room looks like this most of the time."

A hint of a smile touched mom's face as shifted, attempting to straighten up.

"Please sit down a minute Kel, this is really important." She nodded toward the loveseat opposite the couch. I took Maddie's hand and we crossed the room, the silence feeling incredibly awkward. Maddie smushed up next to me and kept my hand squeezed tight in hers.

Mom opened her mouth a few times, as if she was going to speak, and kept adjusting her blouse.

"What did you want to talk about, mom?" I said, fighting to keep the roughness out of my voice.

She looked down at the coffee table. "I started to head up to Aunt Sally's last night, but made it as far as Lucky's instead."

I leaned forward, the one hand that Maddie wasn't suffocating clenched. "Jesus Christ, mom! What the hell is wrong with you?"

Maddie dropped my hand and dug her nails into my thigh, trying to calm me down (I think?). Mom just smiled tiredly, head drooping to her chest.

"I'm trying to find out what isn't wrong, Kel. But I know this. I don't care how much it hurts; I'm not touching another drop of alcohol so long as I live. I've thought a lot about our conversation earlier this week, and I'm sorry for the things I said to you. No mother should ever say those things to her child. I'll never forgive myself for how I've been, but I'm going to try to make it better.

"I'm going to drag myself to A.A. meetings every day that I can. I'm going to kick this. I'm sorry that I'm not who I used to be. It's been a long road since your father left, I'm not going to pull any punches.

"I thought it would be different, once he was gone, but I've just been spiraling downwards for years. I'm so sorry, Kel, I don't know how I let it get this far. If I've said some things to you... while intoxicated... I don't really remember much these last few months... I'm sorry."

She started to cry, and then I watched dumbstruck as Maddie got up and joined her on the couch, consoling her. Not twenty-four hours earlier, I wasn't sure if Maddie would ever speak to me again. Now she was hugging my mom.

After the initial shock, I was both touched and amused; touched because of Maddie's sweetness and amused because she's so tiny that her arms barely fit around my mom.

Mom responded back, swallowing Maddie in a hug.

And then my soulmate made an impassioned speech to my mom that I never would've expected.

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