I Love You Just the Way You Are (Book 1- Rock Canyon Series)

Chapter 32 - Kellan

Chapter 32 - Kellan

"I see that you and your boyfriend must have broken up." Kate smiled down her nose at Maddie before turning to me. "Was it worth it, Kellan? No one will touch you now. You've been with another guy. You're queer. You're tainted," she said, flicking her tongue suggestively.

If she thought I missed any part of her sluttiness she was sorely mistaken.

Maddie had managed to avoid me for almost the first two days of school. I caught up to her as she was heading for the bus, but Kate intercepted us. And here I was staring blankly at her, a smile slowly creeping across my face as I realized how truly done I was with my past.

"I don't know anything about being tainted," I began as if talking to a child. "I do know that I don't want anyone else so if that's what I am? Okay, cool." I spread my arms and shrugged. "But for the record, it was totally worth it. She's the exact opposite of you and everyone else in this school. She's authentic and true to herself and not worried about what everyone else thinks. She taught me so much. I wish I had been able to be with her sooner." I paused and glanced at Maddie. Her eyes held mine, but I didn't see the usual sparkle. There was only an infinite sadness, the puffiness not quite hidden behind her makeup. I stifled the urge to hug her, knowing that's not what she wanted from me.

I looked down for a moment and felt Kate's rapidly calculating eyes darting between our faces, obviously enjoying herself. I met them with a calmness I'd not had around Kate before.

"Maddie's not like you," I said softly. "She wouldn't stand here and enjoy someone else's suffering. But you? You feed on it. You're like an energy vampire, waiting to suck someone dry so that you don't have to face the ugliness of who you really are.

"But what am I saying? You wouldn't know anything about what it's like to have a conscience, Kate. You probably don't even understand the concept of integrity."

Maddie's chest rose and fell a little faster in my peripheral vision and I knew I was being heard.

A sea of people shuffled and murmured around us as they headed for the exit, their heads still snapping back for another look. This had become normal over the past six weeks, something we enjoyed and even laughed at. But that was then, when we had been one. This was now, when we were two lonely islands, a gulf spreading between us.

The familiar tendrils of electricity snapping between our hands was still there now that we were close. I wanted to reach out and grab hers, but I resisted. I didn't want to ruin this moment. I settled for tracing her precious face slowly with my eyes, remembering what it felt like to do it with my fingers. I sighed and made peace that the moment was over. I stepped between her and Kate.

"Maddie you're the most beautiful girl in the world, inside and out. I can't believe I wasted any of my time with anyone else."

Every step away tore me apart a little further, the pain feeling like a never-ending rep under a heavy barbell. But if I knew Maddie , and I felt like I did, she needed time if I was to have a shot at all. While that hurt, I had no choice but to wait.

I dodged through a few remaining clumps of students near the door, heading for the sidewalk. Without my own car, or someone to give me a ride, I was walking to and from school. I had been riding the bus with Maddie but, again, space. Time. So walking it was.

Earbuds went in, followed immediately by Beach House. It was a beautiful afternoon for the music, temperatures in the mid-70s, birds chirping, people smiling. Passing the athletic fields without bothering to look–the new routine. I mean, why would I? I knew what I'd see–all my old friends would be out there, preparing for their next game. There was what, two left? I didn't even know what their record was. I stopped paying attention long ago. I didn't want to start thinking about football right now. If I started missing that...