I Love You Just the Way You Are (Book 1- Rock Canyon Series)

Chapter 35 - Maddie

Chapter 35 – Maddie

I ran my lips down his neck, smelling the desert night mixing with his sandalwood essence, and sank my teeth into his shoulder. He stumbled, and we fell to the ground, with me on top.

I bit his ear gently and laughed. "Oops! Too much for you to handle? Mmm but I do like the lipstick mark on your neck. It says I own you."

He growled and scooped me up as if I was a doll, carrying me to his bed. He threw me down next to his open sketchpad. The drawing of me on the page was one I hadn't seen before. I'm wearing a long t-shirt and nothing else, both hands in my hair, a suggestive smile on my face. He tried to move the sketchpad out of the way, but I grabbed it.

"Uh uh. Leave it right there. I want to see this the entire time. Get out of those clothes. I want to run my hands all over your body."

He froze, eyes bugged. He wasn't used to this type of aggressiveness from a girl. I'm glad. That was fine with me, actually. I wanted it to feel like the first time for both of us.

He got up and cut the lights in the room. The only light that remained was the soft glow of the screensaver from his computer.

His shirt was lost somewhere behind us he climbed on top of me. He kissed me slowly, while I ran my hands up the v-shape of his back. I dug my nails into the side of his head when he moved to my neck, going right for the spot he knew I loved most.

After a few minutes, he sat up and tried to take my shirt off, but I went stiff. I had forgotten about the part where I'd have to be naked in front of him. My blood ran cold as I thought about what he'd think once he saw me without my clothes.

He pulled back and sat beside me, rubbing my arm.

"Maddie...," he said gently, "you asked us to come here. I don't want to get the wrong idea and make you uncomfortable. Were you asking for us to have our first time together? If you've changed your mind, that's okay. But I want to be on the same page."

I felt safe with Kellan, and I wasn't scared about the actual having sex part, but I was terrified of watching him seeing me. What if he rejected me? What if all this time he thought he wanted me but when we actually got to the moment of truth he freaked out? How could I live with that?

I curled into a ball, facing away from him. "I was asking for our first time... and I do want it. I... I'm sorry... I wasn't nervous until it hit me that I'm going to have to be naked too. I was excited to see you. I'm terrified for you to see me. I'm sorry."

Kellan nuzzled up against me, wrapping me in his arms.

"Maddie, I just want you to feel comfortable. I'm not attached to whether we make love or not. If you're not ready, I understand. I will never try to force you. It's always your decision, each step of the way. I'll always be here, and when you're ready, I'll make sure our first time is as amazing as it can be."

When I didn't say anything, Kellan stood up and I could hear the rustling of clothes.

"Hey, you were excited to touch me. Here I am. It's all yours. No pressure for anything more."

I rolled over slowly, my eyes pouring over his now naked body. He laid beside me on his back, and a fire raged out of nowhere between my legs. I licked my lips, unable to hide the way his body made me feel. I began with a fingertip, then two, then my entire hand–lingering on his chest and stomach, feeling the muscles rise and fall with each breath. We had touched like this before when we made out, but he always had a shirt on. That was like looking out the window at a beautiful scene, and this was like being immersed in the middle of it.