Through Trials and Tribulations

4

Lylah W.

You know that feeling when you wanna go to sleep and not wake up? Yeah I'm feeling that right now

In the span of a month, my whole life changed and is still changing. My mom, my bestfriend, died, I found my dad unconscious in his room, my boyfriend cheated on me with hella girls, and now I'm moving into a house full of strangers

I love my life

I know how I was saying 'I don't know if Im still in love with Junior' but I've never been cheated on before and I can say it hurts. Like a bitch

I never planned on leaving him anytime soon because as they say 'You really start to love someone if you don't have feelings' and I was going with that

I honestly feel like I was still in love with him it's just we haven't been spending time with each other because if I wasn't, why do I feel this way

Why do I feel like I don't want to be here anymore. Like I've been stabbed in my heart repeatedly

Junior knows I know about his 'affairs' because Desarea called him and cussed him out

He's been blowing up my phone all night and I don't think I'm ready to respond. What would I even say

I just wish I had someone to talk to

None of my friends understand. They can say they feel bad for me and ask if I'm okay but that doesn't  help me

They may feel bad but they don't feel how I feel. My dad is in a mental hospital for god knows how long. I don't want to bother him with all my problems

I force myself everyday to talk to him. I mean yeah I miss him and I want to be by his side and everything but I don't understand how he could do this to me

I lost my mom and two days later I found him in the bathroom purple as fuck thinking I lost him to

I can't say it's selfish because everyone has their own thoughts but really? He was just gonna leave like that?

Then where would I be? Did he even think about me? Probably not cause all that was going through his mind was he lost the girl he wanted to marry and now he's stuck with her daughter

That's a little harsh because he treats me as his own but still. I would've had both my parents gone

Thinking about all of this makes me cry. Hard

Tears flow out of my eyes as I lay on my bed facing the window

I literally have no one. Everyone wants to leave me. No one wants to actually know if I'm okay

I hear a knock on my door and I immediately sit up and start wiping my tears

"Come in" I say trying to hide the fact that I was crying but failing

"I just wanna talk" Junior says as he opens my door

I stare at him in shock. Who let him in?

"Get out" I say harshly but not giving two fucks "Please baby" he says sitting on my bed

"No get out now" I scoot closer to my headboard "Please Lylah let me explain"

I decide not to fight because I know he won't leave without talking

He takes my silence as a yes and starts talking

"I'm so sorry baby. I swear I never meant t-"

"Never meant to what? Slip your dick in another girl- no multiple girls? Never meant to text bitches like your single asking to hang out? Never meant to make out with other girls in your car? Never meant to lie to me about where you're going? No Junior. You never meant for me to find out" I tell him harshly, raising my voice a little