Bad Influence - popular girl x nerd boy

18- Rome

unedited!

"Fuck, why would I do that!" I press my palms against my mouth and watch as my phone reads Delivered!. Thunderous heartbeats pound against my rib cage, being overworked from having to cope with the millions of thoughts passing through my head. Countless reactions could occur from the mess I started, and none of them would be good. I take a deep breath, forcing air into my lungs and processing what I had done.

I made a mistake.

Scrolling through instagram, I was teasing myself with the idea of sending him a message. It was supposed to be a joke, a hypothetical and ironic what-if?

That was until I found his account. Barely passing a hundred followers with half as many posts, ranging from photos of his friends to selfies that I barely recognized him in. It was a mosaic of a side of him I had never seen before, flashing his confidence and creativity and luring me in. Photo dumps and pieces of his life littered the screen of my phone, and I had so many questions. I wished he was besides me to explain every single story. I wanted to scroll to the bottom of the page, see every bit of him he has ever shared with the world. Instead, I swiped across his page and returned to the top of the profile, intending on pressing the back arrow and forgetting about the accident that was opeing up his account.

Then, without entirely grasping what my fingers were doing, I clicked on the little box next to the follow button and opened private messages.

I sent Lucas a text.

A casual message, one that I typed and sent within the same heart beat, now has me crippled on my bedroom floor wracked with nerves. I asked him if he wanted to go on a run with me tomorrow morning, as if it was the most normal request in the world and not the first time I had ever approached him.

Now, fifteen minutes after the blue bar disappeared and the text was delivered, I have received no answer. Regret bites at my composure and I can't believe I ever sent the private message. I worry about sounding forward and I rethink my wording. Maybe saying "heyy" was too friendly? Or maybe using an exclamation mark makes me look too excited? I cringe, trying to figure out when I started caring so much about what Lucas thought of me.

My regret spikes again as I imagine him showing people the text.

Lucas doesn't seem the type to brag about me as if I was a trophy, but I have been let down by men before. Disappointment rises in my stomach, mixing with fear as I predict what people would think of me for wanting to hang out with him.

Doubt settles into my mind and I feel the need to remind myself why I messaged Lucas in the first place.

_________________________________________

Autumn and I were sitting on Chloe's pool chairs as she floated in the water in front of us.

A long string of curses left Autumn's mouth as she described her parents' reactions to her being waitlisted  from Columbia and MIT, the two universities her parents attended. She still hasn't told them that she committed to Harvard, or that she even got accepted into the dream school, and their shameless attacks on her were starting to weigh her down.

Autumn had been the perfect student her whole life, now she would be attending the most prestigious school in the country, and still she wasn't good enough for her family. Although I do my best to support Autumn and help her heal from her parents' pressure, I can't help but compare myself to her.

If someone so perfect could be seen as a failure, no wonder my parents can't even look at me.

Chloe splashed water from the edge of the pool.