23- Rome

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Chatter is traded across the lunch table as frequent as food is, the boys sitting at the table next to us watch the giggling cheerleaders at my side with eager eyes. Chloe spins a blonde curl around her finger while batting her eyelashes at a football jock, bringing a blush to his face and cheers from his buddies.

The lunch time ritual is a four-year old routine I've acted out every day of school. Sitting in the center of the cafeteria, kicking girls we don't like off of our table, and considering to flirt with the jocks next to us that beg for a shred of our attention. The unbroken habit is what fuels my popularity, placing me in the center of every student's vision and keeping me updated on the scandalous whispers that breed in the busy halls.

But that doesn't mean I don't yearn for the quiet table in the corner of the room.

In contrast to the filled table I sit at, where underclassmen girls have to stand at the end in order to feel included despite there being no room for them, three students dominate the otherwise empty table.

My eyes linger on the fair skinned boy, his mouth wide with a glowing smile I wish I could know the cause of. A smile I wish I could be the cause of.

Blue eyes darker than the night sky searches the room for my brown ones seconds before Lucas and I make eye contact. My gaze darts away from his face immediately, color rushing to my cheeks, and I struggle to convince myself that staring at a friend means nothing.

As if being caught watching Lucas didn't expose me enough, I can't resit the urge to steal another glance his way. But when I peak over at him, he's already looking at me.

I can't stop the goofy grin from spreading across my face, which only grows when Lucas's laughter bubbles out of him, silent due to the distance between us. What are you looking at? I ask him without saying anything outloud, raising an eyebrow that matches my raised lips.

You were looking at me first. He responds, accompanied by a small shake of his head.

I bite my lip and turn away.

The promise I made to him burns into my mind, urging me to make the first move in exposing our friendship. Nerves nimble away at my confidence when I so much as think about receiving the questioning gawks or disappointed mocks that are waiting for me when I walk through the hallways with Lucas at my side. I know it will be worth it, to taint the conditional approval that everyone gives me with an act that will for once make myself happy.

Still, I'm worried about revealing Lucas. I'm worried about revealing who I truly am.

A grunt from behind me catches me off guard, deep voices arguing before one finally pushes through. I hear the aggressive noises getting closer, and even before I turn my body around I recognize one of the voices.

"You cheated on me!" Jason screams, only ten feet away as his stomps approach me. "You thought you could invite another boy to your room and I wouldn't know?"

The whole cafeteria falls silent, watching and listening as Jason spews whatever bullshit he wants to believe. I should have known that one of the girls at my house the night Lucas came to me would start a rumor, and I curse myself for letting Lucas get involved.

"We're not together, Jason." I push the words through gritted teeth, keeping my voice low and dangerous.

"Another guy fucked you." He's not asking; he's telling me and the rest of the room. I'm appalled by his audacity. How dare he asume that I'm screwing another guy only because we spent time together, valuing my word and character at nothing because I have a male friend. How dare he treat the situation like I'm behaving in a way I am not allowed to. Despite the several girls he screwed during our relationship, even when I am single I don't have his permission to act on my own will.

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