33- Lucas

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Ringing from my phone's alarm has been blaring for the past few minutes, the device's warning coming from my bedroom while I shuffle around the kitchen in a hurry. The sound tells me that I am going to be late for school if I don't leave in the new few minutes, but I can't leave until I have at least started my sister's breakfast.

Ignoring the homework due first period that I was supposed to complete instead, I shove two slices of bread into the toaster quickly and leave Lily's favorite jam on the counter so she can spread it herself. I'm half way to the door before my mom pulls me by my backpack, turning me around to face her.

She's tying her dirty blonde hair into a tight pony tail before she leaves for work. "Honey, I'm not sure when I'll be able to make it home tonight. Do you think you could pick your sister up from school?"

Holding in a sigh, I nod, quickly rearranging my routine to make sure it will be done. Lily saunters into the kitchen at this moment, her ripped tennis shoes sliding across the floor while she pulls the refrigerator door open with one hand and brushes her hair with the other.

"Mom... it's not a big deal or anything, but there's nothing to eat." She says in a quiet voice, shamefully shutting the door empty handed. I cringe at the observation, and I ache at her readiness to go to school without breakfast, not that it would be a first for us.

"I already started your breakfast, Lil, don't worry about it." Her mouth forms an awkward 'O' before she thanks me and continues getting ready for school.

"Would you mind grocery shopping, too?" My mom avoids my eyes, watching Lily as she hurries across the hallway to her room instead. She's embarrassed to have to ask her kid for so much help, but we both know she needs it.

Wondering how it will be possible for me to do everything she needs from me as well as my own schedule, I bite my tongue before responding. An imaginary 'to-do' list floats above my head, reminding me of my responsibilities and deadlines that must be done today. Apply to college programs for scholarships, keeping up my grades for the valedictorian qualifications, helping Lily with her homework tonight, and cooking dinner all before my mom comes home from work.

But I could never say no to her. Not when she needs me this much.

"Thank you thank you!" She kisses my forehead like she did when I was a child. When my only worries were how the knights in my books would slay their dragons, not realizing one day I would have dragons of my own to slay. "Don't leave yet, I'll grab my card."

"No, mom, it's alright. I can pay for them." Rent is coming in the next few days anyways, and despite how well she hides it, I know she's stretched thin -
as it is. With the lowered house bills I have more money left over from last month, making it easy to put the paychecks into food instead.

With a final kiss, my mom leaves for work, her eyes never meeting mine as she walks out the front door. I pray I imagined the glossiness of her eyes or the sniffling of her nose, hoping more than anything that she would never cry over the sacrifices I willingly make.

Driving from Lily's school towards my own, I attempt to ignore the pressure building in my chest. The stress from my responsibilities knot in my stomach, twisting and twisting until my gut is so nauseous I'm certain I must be sick.

I try to organize my day, planning the hours that will allow me to accomplish my goals as if it would solve my problems. It doesn't.

I wish Rome was here.

She is always able to take away my fears and make life a little more manageable, simply by being near me. Her soothing voice is able to distract me from my worries like a hypnotic melody I'll never understand. Simply thinking about her eases the pain in my stomach and settles my mind, a cure so powerful and she doesn't have a clue.

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