Bad Influence - popular girl x nerd boy

31- Lucas

Peeling the envelop open, I bite my tongue in anticipation of the letter inside. Mail addressed to my mom comes to the house monthly, waiting to be read by me so that I can transfer money to our landlord and pay the rent that we owe along with other bills. Normally, the letters of payment are scheduled for specific days of the month, but this one arrived completely irregularly. Which only means one thing.

The cost of rent has changed.

I want to scream, I want to break the world apart that keeps breaking my soul. Everytime my life improves, the moment things get better for my family or the pressure on my shoulders eases itself, there's always a new problem to deal with.

Could I not have enjoyed Rome for a little longer, before the world tries to take her and everything else I love from me?

Painstakingly slow, my hand shakes as I pull the letter out of the opened envelope, praying that the raise in rent is only a few percent higher than before.

I reread the letter three times, and then again when I don't understand it.

I check and verify the sender twice before I let myself believe what I have read.

'This building's rent has been decreased by 18% due to an expansion of available housing through new construction on the property, which will temporarily lower the value of the apartments in this area. This change in ensured for the next year as the construction occurs. Thank you for your patience.'

"What is it Lucas? Is it bad?" Lily asks from the hallway. She's biting her cheek and picking at her nails, telling me she has been watching me open the letter the whole time, as nervous as I was. Not for the first time I regret how much she already understands about struggling and constantly considering house security.

I mourn the childhood we should have had, trading dolls and toy cars for empty stomachs and underage jobs.

"No, Lily, it's really good," I sniff, blinking back my tears of relief.

The difference in rent means hundreds of dollars off of our normal rate, the price tag of the house feeling far more manageable despite still costing thousands each month. For once in my life, I have the option to set up a savings account for myself, be able to amount money and a safety net in case anything goes wrong again.

Everything that seemed impossible for the past few years – college, dating, reliability, a future even – is finally an option for me.

I slide the letter across the table so that Lily can read it as well, laughing through the sob that threatens to leave my mouth when Lily's tears fall onto the paper, warping the text.

Saving nearly six hundred dollars a month means I no longer have to empty my paychecks into rent, leaving me with the option of buying things that I want rather than what my family needs. This has never been possible for me before, and my first thought is to spend the money on Rome. This changes everything that I feared about our relationship, meaning that I can treat her well and still have enough money to save for my future. Save for our future.

I find renewed energy in my body as I get ready for work, changing into the all black uniform and tying non-slip shoes on with optimism for the first time in years. Hope lingers in my heart where I never expected it to grow, motivating me with lasting confidence.

Lily spends the rest of her night studying on the dining table, her school cromebook reviewing topics that are far more complex than freshman classes require. As I pass behind her to reach the front door and leave for work, I fear that she's become too much like me. For a moment, I'm terrified that I tainted her. Through overworking myself and never hiding my constant stress, I've shown her a way to live that she doesn't know how to escape.