Chapter Seventeen ✩ Cake

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The clock struck midnight as Kanae plopped onto her bed. For everything she had expected out of that day, all went wrong.

A day to cherish for Gojo and grow closer only made her want to distance herself from him. After the game, she held her breath forcing any and every inkling of emotion within her. Now in her own solitude, her eyes glosssed as she began to sniffle.

A stupid crush had gone too far. Her feelings were deeper than she anticipated or it was the after effects of the alcohol lingering in her system.

She had experienced a few random sleepless nights wondering what if. What if she confessed her feelings? What if they were an item? What turn would her life take? Of course she had intense thoughts about it. It made it apparent how strong she felt about him. The moment she felt satisfied and content with her feelings, of course it didn't last. For some reason, life didn't let her hold onto the good.

Why can't I just have one good thing? Haven't I suffered enough?

Clamping onto her pillow, she dreaded on the promises she made to herself a few months prior. No boys, real or fictional, no relationships, nothing! But here she was upset about one because she lowered her defences for him.

Now he was gone.

She wasn't mad, but disappointed in the situation and mainly herself.

Is it even normal to feel this way after everything? I've known him for about a month and it's like this?

She rotated her body as she now faced the ceiling. Tears now running down the sides of her face.

I've never been like this with a guy. Get a fucking grip Kanae.

This only shows how vulnerable you are.

Always latching onto people and getting hurt when things don't go your way.

Maybe she was so fond of him because he didn't look at her as something to eat. Maybe it was because he was always encouraging her to be strong. Maybe because he had done so much for her just as a friend.

He was a star that flourished over her greying life. For the short span of time she had known him, he altered it for the better.

Thud
Thud
Thud

A few moments of her silence was disturbed by a sudden rapping on the door.

Refusing to glance in that direction, she continued to sniffle. Shoko and Geto had noticed how off she had become towards the end of the party. It wouldn't have surprised her if they had decided to show up knowing how evasive she was being.

The knocking repeated causing her to sit up and croak. "Go away. I'm fine."

This solitude was necessary for her to soak in her emotions. As emotional as she normal was, she had hoped this was being amplified by the vodka in her system.

"Kanae it's me."

Gojo?

No that couldn't be right. The birthday boy had so much other things he could be doing than witnessing her suffering. All these thoughts of him only made her feel more delusional. He was just a figment of her imagination. Why would he appear at her door this late?

Deciding silence as an appropriate answer the only way out was forcing herself to sleep. Though it felt impossible to sleep in this state, she clenched her eyes tight taking slow breaths visualizing passing sheep. She wasn't sure it would work, but it was something she had witnessed on television many times growing up.

Noticing her abrupt silence, Gojo cleared his voice. "...I'm still here."

Taking a deep breath, she stood up wiping the evidence of her tears making her way towards the entry.

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