Play!

VI

"Hey!", Brett heard his voice travel to this other guy's ear he actually didn't want to talk to. What was it with his goddamn mouth not wanting to shut up?
Eddy looked up from the notes in front of him, cold eyes expressing surprise and, was it disgust? Brett winced, which he tried to hide by sitting down swiftly. 
Eddy blinked a few times and pursed his lips. "Hey", he said back, tone so icy it could freeze the whole Sydney harbor in an instant. 
Brett's mouth went again. "Good practice?", while his brain shouted, Shhh! Shut up, stupid! Why, oh why did he have to make his life more difficult and expose himself to humiliation and dislike? First his hands and now his lips, not obeying the commanding post and opening on their own accord. What the hell was wrong with him?
"I guess", Brett got back. 
Thankfully, Brett regained composure as he nodded to that, sat down and took out his violin without further ado and without losing another word.

At least the run-through went okay. And when Mr. Thames let them hop off, Brett even got a tiny nod from Eddy before he rushed out the hall. It also could have been a slight movement with his head to loosen his neck a bit, or pure imagination on Brett's side… whatever.

From the corner of his eyes, Brett saw Angelica climbing over a good amount of chairs before she reached them.
"You guys busy?"
"Don't we have a recital we have to go? The welcome thing?", Cole asked back. 
She threw a glance at her watch. "Not for another two hours. What do you wanna do?"
"Practice", Brett mumbled, already half on his way to get a practice room when Cole grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back. 
"Nah! Brett! You need a proper break! Maybe you're over practicing anyway, so all this shit happens."
“Over practicing? When most of the time I’m playing Mozart?”, Brett doubted, but it was tempting to just relax a bit, he had to admit, so he added an “Alright! I’m in!” without Cole having to push him any further. 
“Yes!”, Brett’s friend cheered. 
Angelica’s smile widened. “Wanna grab some dinner? I know a Japanese place just outside the uni grounds. I’ll ask around if others want to join.”
It’s confirmed, Brett thought to himself as Angelica gathered about ten people from both the Sydney and Queensland con. Brass players excelled in the art of socializing. 

The Japanese place turned out to be a small, cozy restaurant, which barely held itself together when they all squeezed inside. It served about three dishes and Brett was sure he'd seldom had such good ramen like the one he got here. The company was great, everyone laughing and enjoying themselves and Brett felt himself relaxing more and more, the catastrophic practice session in the afternoon slowly fading into the back of his mind.

"You good, Brett?", Katie, the small violinist asked after dinner on their way to one of the recital halls the Sydney con had to offer. 
"Yeah, why?", he said, surprised that someone who barely knew him asked after his well-being. 
"You seemed kinda down before we headed out."
"Just bad afternoon, that's all."
"I see. Did practice not go how you'd liked?"
Brett nodded. "I dunno why though. Stresses me out to be honest."
"Figures."
They walked next to each other in silence for a little, till Brett's mouth went, "You know Chen a bit, right?" 
She threw a glance at him, her red, short hair swinging by the side of her face. A pretty girl, Brett found. Probably sporty, judging by her lean body and the gracious way she moved. 
"Eddy? Not much, to be honest."
"But you have the same teacher, no?"
"Oh, you remember that", she grinned, "Yes. Russian, with a ton of experience. She is super fond of him and apparently, he's extremely hard-working. Always has his stuff ready and most of the time, he's huddled up in a practice room. That's why I have no idea how he is on a personal level."
"I see. So, he playes really well, huh", Brett stated. 
"Yes. Clean intonation, powerful projection, but you know what?"
Brett frowned. "What?"
"I only tell you that because your afternoon sucked, so maybe you can use this information to lift your spirits a bit." Katie looked around and lowered her voice. "Eddy might be strong on the technical and musical side, but if you ask me, and our teacher has mentioned it too, there's something missing in his playing."
"What?", Brett inquiered, despite the voice in the back of his head nagging that what he was doing was extremely uncool. 
"Emotion. He playes like a robot sometimes. There's no pain, no joy, no love, no sorrow. Don't get me wrong. He delivers musically, that's why at first, one won't make that out. But if you pay attention, you'll notice that his sound is kinda… hollow."
"Oh?", Brett made, indeed surprised about the characteristic Eddy's playing seemingly had. But then again, he'd only heard Eddy next to him in the tutti.
"Yeah. I don't think many people in our con have noticed yet, but that's definitely something our teacher is working on with Eddy."
"Interesting…"
"I think he has great potential, but he won't make it far if he can't deliver the music in a way that's relatable for the audience. If they can't feel anything through his performance, they'll lose interest."
"But hasn't he won a bunch of competitions and stuff? Can't be that bad, right?"
"It's not", she agreed, "Again. You have to listen closely and for several times. You'll get what I mean when you hear him, I think."
"Not sure", Brett said and scratched the back of his head, "It's not like I'm any better. If my playing can convey any emotion, and I'm not  at all sure of that, my technical and musical abilities sucks, so there's that."
"You still made it into the competition here, no? I applied too, by the way."
"Sorry…", Brett said. 
"I lost against Eddy, dear."
"Ah, right."
"My point is, you can't suck too hard if you’ve made it this far."
"Not sure anymore", Brett sighed, "After this afternoon… man, it was really bad. And the worst thing is, I don’t know how to pull myself out of it. I tried slow practice and everything.”
“Then”, she laid a small hand on his shoulder, “take the news you’ve just gotten and try again this evening. Maybe it’ll be better. I get it. It’s high pressure and if you know your opponent is praised by many, it can be super intimidating.”
“Maybe”, Brett sighed again, deeper this time.
“Besides, we have that recital first. It might help too, listen to our professors play.”
“Maybe…”

What else was there to do for him other than trying not to stress about it and tackle the concerto again this evening?