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Did something happen when you were at Eddy’s?

Scenes of them, sitting on Eddy’s bed after they’d established Brett only really liked to show his touchier side around Eddy and Eddy being totally okay with it, Eddy’s arm around him, his head on the taller’s shoulder flashed by Brett’s inner eye. They got replaced by Eddy’s pillow wall, his panic ridden cries during the night and how Brett held him, calmed him down, coaxed Eddy to tell him about his recurring nightmare and how they went back to sleep again in each other’s arms… 
Brett knew he was blushing despite his desperate attempt to deadpan over it. 

Cole’s light chuckle brought him back to the gardens, under the tree. “Oh man. So something did happen, didn’t it?”
Brett cast his eyes down on the green, luscious grass underneath his feet. “Fuck you, Cole.”
“Brett…”
“Nothing happened, alright?", he exclaimed and opened the floodgates, "We just found out some stuff and then, I mean, I had to sleep in his bed! And it’s a normal size one, so of course we had to scoot together so I wouldn’t fall out. And then, he had this freaking nightmare and I only held him so he could calm down and fall asleep again and-”
“Brett!”, Cole exclaimed with a chortle and grabbed Brett by his upper arms, “What did you find out? You and Eddy, what is it really that you talked about? And I’m not asking this because I’m nosy… well, I am a bit curious, to be honest, but I just want to help you get to your senses and I feel like that’s not gonna happen when we beat around the bush. So tell me, what did you discover?”

Cole was right. There was no use in hiding things if he wanted to gain some clarity and that was why he wanted to talk this through with Cole in the first place, wasn’t it? So he gathered all his courage and threw the little bit of dignity that was left and his instinct for self-preservation out into the sea. 

“Fuck it! Alright! I like to touch him! That’s what we’ve established! And he’s okay with that!”
Cole didn’t blink when he said, “Brett, you’re too smart of a guy to NOT know what that sounds like…”
Brett somehow overheard the last sentence and continued, “He was kind of angry or something because he thought that’s what I always do when I go out, you know, take people’s hands, hold them and stuff…”
“Make out, snog…”, Cole casually dropped, earning a push from the smaller. 
“No! And you know I don’t!”
“Of course I know! It’s actually very unlike you to be too touchy feely.”
“That’s exactly what I told him too. But with him, I’m different.”
“As we’ve already stated many times.”
“And after I made that clear, we were good.”
“Okay, Brett”, Cole said, his voice almost stern, “I have to tell you something now and I think you already know. Everything you’ve told me so far points in one specific direction.”

No! Oh no! He wasn’t ready for what he anticipated came next at all despite knowing exactly what everything he'd told Cole sounded like, and all he wanted was to run away and jump off the pier to join all the other things like self-preservation and dignity and his freaking heart that once belonged to him and already uselessly floated around in the salty water. 
Salty like the tears he was about to cry soon, he was pretty sure. 

The pause before Cole delivered the blow weighed heavy, as if the tree had fallen down on Brett, squashing his insides to mush.
One intake of breath, one meaningful look. And then, “You have feelings for Eddy.”

White noise, overpowering every bird’s singing, every person’s chatter, every bit of wind rustling the leaves around them and also Cole, calling Brett’s name. 

Feelings. For Eddy. 

Fucking shit on a stick!

He didn’t know how long it took for him to snap out of it and utter, “But, Cole…”
“Yeah, Brett?”, Cole’s relieved voice from far away said. 
“That’s not possible…”
“Why?”
“I’m…”, Brett stuttered as all the sounds from their environment flooded his consciousness again. His eyelids fluttered rapidly and equally fast was his breathing, shallow, barely getting any oxygen into his confused, upset brain. 
“Mate, you need to sit down?”, Cole frowned and got a tight hold of Brett’s arm.
“I’m not… I’m straight, Cole.”
“Brett, dude…” He gently pulled Brett down to lower himself on the ground, his stabilizing grip not leaving the smaller, “Hey, it’s only a hunch, okay? And maybe you’re having a crush, which can happen to anyone for anyone, you know?”
“I’m… I’m straight”, Brett repeated weakly, cold sweat running down the side of his temples and his back. 
Cole laid his head to the side. “Are you sure though? We’re young and still figuring stuff out.”
“But… not this. It’s only been girls till now.”
“That’s true, but have you ever felt for them what you feel now? For Eddy?”

Brett tried. Oh you can't imagine how hard he tried to find a path through this huge mess, thinking back of the few girls he’d had a little something with. Some butterflies here and there and attraction had certainly been a factor. However, never before had he desired to be with a person twenty-four seven and sometimes wanting to run away and hide in a hole out of nervousness at the same time. Never had he cared about someone’s well-being as much, down to having to do everything in his power to ensure the other could reach his goal, his dreams. Never had he been so keen on having a good relationship with someone to a state where he sneaked around outside a student dorm, threw stones at windows and risked being sent home, only so he could apologize.
Never had another human being’s presence felt so exquisite, safe, warm, wonderful. Never had Brett longed to be with someone that it almost physically hurt if he wasn’t. 
Never would he have thought he could feel like this for anyone. 

So the answer to Cole’s question was simple, really. 
“I have not. Never!”
Cole let out a breath. “Well, there you have it.”

Brett stared into nothingness while the new reality, born out of their discussion just now, sank in. He didn’t feel the tears running down his cheeks. 
“Oh, mate”, Cole sighed, starting to rub Brett’s shoulder empathetically.

Brett didn’t know his mouth still worked when it blurted out what tormented his head right now. “I have feelings for Eddy…”
“I didn’t want to jump to conclusions over something like this…”
“No”, Brett shook his head, tears spilling left and right. How pathetic! “You’re right, Cole.”

Now came the sobs, bubbling up, unstoppable like tidal waves, a tsunami even and he just so managed to press out the following truth before he sank into Cole’s arms, bawling for real.

“I’m in love with him.”

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