𝗙𝗔𝗨𝗟𝗧𝗦 | anakin skywalker

✰ 10: what i do when i'm missing you

"I feel you. I see you. I know you." Akya took a slow, deep breath, then opened her eyes again. "I miss you."

She hoped he felt her, too.

It had now been three months since they had last been together. Much had happened since they agreed that they would stay together and keep their relationship going. Anakin had been gone often, but as a Padawan, he'd have to come back every ten rotations or so to catch up on studying, especially since both he and his master suspected the Council would allow him to take the trials soon. Soon after a rigorous mission with Master Kenobi, Anakin was allowed to go through the trials, with success, and had a Knighting Ceremony. Akya had attended, as well as many other Initiates and Padawans, much of the time because it was a fun celebration, and always kind to congratulate the oncoming Jedi.

That night, he had given her his Padawan braid as a gift, and they'd had one long last kiss before he was called away to the Council to be given his first assignment as a Jedi Knight.  She didn't see him again after that— and she didn't have her hopes up, either.  She thought about their last kiss every night and every fantasy she made up in her head about how it could have gone differently didn't help.  She should have fought harder for him, for them, and she didn't. But even so, what could she have done?

She'd woven the braid he'd given her along with a couple extra pieces of string she'd accumulated into a bracelet, which she wore around her wrist at all times just to have a part of him with her.  Throughout her training, she'd done her best to be very patient, but she felt that she was at the end of her rope.  She missed him badly, and she knew she shouldn't.  Just as there was war in her galaxy, there was also a waging was in her brain of right versus wrong, and the thing was, she didn't know which side was the good one.  Were her feelings for Anakin wrong?  Or was her denying her heart's desire the real mistake?

Akya finally stood up after that morning meditation and got ready to leave for the gardens, where she was going to meet Master Shaak Ti for a training session. Shaak Ti was a recent addition to the Council, and they had recommended that Akya get a chance to learn from her, as she was very skilled with the Force and attuned to the world around her. Akya hoped she was a good teacher, because that was most definitely something she needed right about now.

— ★ ✰ ☆ —

"You are a very quick learner, Akya. You did a wonderful job."

Shaak Ti had spent a lot of time with her, first doing meditation exercises on feeling your surroundings then taking it to the sparring rooms, where she helped Akya use those skills in practice. She was taught to use her sensitivity as some creatures use echolocation— send out the Force and anything nearby will "send it back." These methods proved very successful, and after a long holo-projector training session, Akya had not been pricked once by the blasts from the droids. Master Shaak Ti seemed very impressed.

"Thank you, Master."

"You have become very attuned with the Force in the time that you've been sensitive to it, being so short a window. You're a wonder with a lightsaber. I think I'm going to speak to the Council, because I believe you are very much ready for the Initiate Trials."

Akya smiled. "Really?"

"Truly," nodded Shaak Ti. "I think beginning training with a single Master will be very beneficial to you now. We need such greatly trained individuals like you during this difficult time."

Akya was very proud of herself.

"Thank you for this lesson, Master."

"My pleasure, Akya. You are a good student."

Both bowed their heads slightly to each other, then Shaak Ti stepped out of the sparring room, leaving Akya to do as she wished.

Akya turned on the holo-projector once again then stepped away and ignited her lightsaber. She then closed her eyes and attempted to sense everything around her, raising her lightsaber instinctively and deflecting a shot she knew was coming.  She liked coming this newly honed Force skill and the lightsaber skills she'd practiced for so long into one graceful, complete dance of a Jedi.  She imagined what it may be like on a battlefield, what dangers may come, and opened her eyes, deflecting every shot from those holographic blasters and slashing each droid with grace and skill. 

Once done, and every shadow of a droid was on the ground, Akya retracted her blade and turned off the holo-projector. She decided then that she would take her break for the day and go back to her room, clean herself, then go to the Library to finish up some reading she'd started the previous night.

— ★ ✰ ☆ —

I am prepared for the Initiate Trials, Akya thought to herself as she stared up at the ceiling. If only Anakin were here. He would be ecstatic. Somehow, all her thoughts led to him.

After shaking herself out of it, Akya opened up some books and continued working on her awareness of the Three Pillars of the Jedi Order— the Force, Knowledge, and Self-Discipline. She didn't know what the Initiate Trials were like, but she did know that she would be tested on these three core values, and she decided that she'd try her best to stop thinking about Anakin so much and start focusing on her studying, where she could lose herself in a book very easily.

This proved to benefit her, and over the next few days she'd taken quite a lengthy amount of time just to herself. Five rotations after training with Shaak Ti she received notice that her Initiate Trials were to be in the next week. Though stressed, Akya approached the trials with great patience, keeping up her meditation, attunement with the Force, and studying. She was determined not to fail— and perhaps, becoming a Padawan would finally give her a chance to see Anakin again.

a.n.:

guyssss... they're so cute. i love writing this so much. he's a jedi now and she's still an initiate! she's stuck there without him! my poor akya!

is the padawan braid weird... is it cringy... be honest please tell me if its weird or if its not bc at the moment it was sweet but now its like... thats his hair... and she wears it... guys im having second thoughts... but im also publishing this anyway bc i love you.  good luck with me

ily. don't forget to vote :)

molly ♡