No More Tomorrows

Chapter 24: Brunch and Blow Ups

"I ordered for you. Figured after what you said on the phone you might need a mimosa to go with your brunch."

Despite my lack of sleep I gave Bess a bright smile. Meeting her on one of the very worst nights of my life turned out to be a blessing I'd forever be thankful for. She'd not only let me move into one of the Club's apartments indefinitely at a reduced rent, but she'd forced her way into my life, checking on me via text, regular brunch dates and even a handful of drunk crying nights at her house. 

She presented a tough exterior to the world, created by the life she'd lived before landing in this city, but underneath she was a kind soul. A single mum who adored her daughter and was doing her best to give her the best life possible. She was the kind of friend every woman deserved. 

"I ordered our usual breakfast croissants because I only have an hour today. Beth's sitter has finals to study for and I promised her I'd be home by 11.30."

"Thank you. You know we could have waited til next week to catch up. I'm sorry if my call this morning made you feel you had to swoop in and protect me."

She gave me her "you're talking rubbish" face and I stopped. I couldn't help but laugh. Bess had the kind of face that had a whole conversation without a single word.

"It's fine. I actually needed to talk with you. So before we start on what happened last night I need to tell you something. It's going to hurt so just know that I haven't said anything these last few weeks because I made the call that you had enough to process with what you saw that night. I honestly didn't think you could cope with any more information than you were already processing."

I felt my heart start to pound at her words. What could she have to tell me? My first thought was Aidan. Was he dating someone? She hadn't mentioned him in three weeks after I explained that I couldn't go there. That I still loved Grant and Aidan deserved someone less broken than me. She'd given me an angry look and told me Grant didn't deserve my love. Then I'd gotten a lecture about the fact I wasn't broken, just a little battered. In her words nobody reached their twenties without some damage. 

During that last conversation about him she'd asked if she could give him my number because he wanted to reach out. Apparently it was my fault, I'd convinced him to open his heart and he wanted to see if I'd be willing to meet for coffee or a meal. Oh how my heart had pounded a funny rhythm that day. The thought of dating Aidan. Feeling those strong arms around me again. There were still days even all these weeks later when I wished I had his hoodie. That I could curl up in it when the nights were extra hard. 

"Is Aidan dating someone?" I blurted it out and the look she gave me showed my question had shocked her. I was clearly on the wrong track and felt myself blush.

"I don't know Em. I haven't really spoken to him in a few weeks. You know I had to take some unplanned leave from the Club to go see my mother when she had that fall. I caught up with him briefly last night about rosters but nothing personal. You could always call him you know." 

"Stop it Bess. You know I'm not in the shape to date anyone. I'm still trying to decide what to do about Grant. Aidan doesn't need to be caught up in my mess. I'm glad your mum is doing okay. Now if it's not about him, what is it?" 

The sad look she gave me made my stomach lurch. Bess didn't often do soft looks and her face worried me. 

"It's about Grant."

My heart was now racing and I could feel my hands shake. I put my glass back on the table. Worried I might spill my drink.

"What about Grant?" I asked the question, even though I already knew the answer. Deep down I knew what she was going to say to me. 

"He kept coming to the Club after the night you performed."

I had to swallow to keep the champagne and orange from coming back up. 

"A week after your night there he was back, and took Roxy into the backroom. He averages three times a week usually and it's always her. His boss seems to have gone back to Mindy as his preferred stripper and his team is back to their usual antics. My bouncers tell me they haven't done another group booking but he is definitely still seeing her. I'm sorry Emily." 

I had so much anger and it seemed Bess was going to get the brunt of it without Grant here to face it.

"Why are you only just telling me this? How could you keep it from me? Jesus Christ you know I've been going crazy for weeks. Trying to work out if I should give him another chance and all along you've been hiding that he's been fucking strippers in your Club!" 

I was mad at her. We'd shared countless messages, dozens of cups of coffee, bottles of wine and even tequila over the last six weeks and she'd never once mentioned that Grant was still showing up at her club. And more than being mad, I was hurt.

"I made the decision after that last night at my house when you passed out after the tequila. I had actually planned to tell you that night but you were in such a fragile state I didn't want to add to it. So I made the call to keep an eye on him. Obviously if you'd asked me directly or called me and said you were in a place where you were thinking of taking him back I would have told you so you'd be making a truly informed choice, but with everything happening with my mum it got pushed aside. I'm sorry." 

She did look apologetic but my feelings were bubbling to the surface. 

"I'm so fucking angry that you could keep this from me? I trusted you!" The new Emily didn't hold her feelings inside. She let them fly out of her mouth.

She placed her own glass back on the table and grasped both my hands in hers. Forcing me to look straight at her, no hiding. 

"I made the decision to watch and learn before I said anything to you. If you'd come to me at any time in the last six weeks and said you were reconciling with Grant I would have spoken up. If you decided you were done I didn't see the point of adding even more pain to your memories. I never did it to hurt you." 

I looked away from her to stare at a tree over her shoulder. Needing a moment to think about what she'd said. I was hurt she'd kept this from me, but she was right. I think if she'd told me that Grant was still coming into the Club the week after he blew my life apart I might have just imploded.

"I can understand that you thought you were protecting me but can you understand that I am sick of people lying to me. Whether it's hiding things from me or lying straight to my face. I know I never asked you if Grant was still coming to the Club but that doesn't mean what you did was okay." 

She gave my hands a squeeze and then let go. Picking up her glass she took a large sip right as the waiter brought us our food. After he left she spoke again.

"I'm sorry Emily. I did have your best interests at heart. I was also worried that if I told you the truth that first week we met you might cut me off and I knew you needed a friend more than you needed that information. I won't lie to you again. Even if I think it's to protect you." 

I picked up my own glass and took a shaky sip. While I was hurt by what she'd done I could understand why. It was Grant I was furious with. Confronting me in a parking garage about getting back together and he was still hooking up with strippers! 

"I accept your apology. We're good if you promise to never lie to me again. Trust is a tricky thing for me these days and I really need at least one person I feel I can rely on Bess. Can you please be that person? I know this will sound very high school of me but I consider you my best friend. I know it's only been six weeks but you know me better than anyone on this planet except my cheating ex boyfriend."

Now she looked like she was going to cry and gave me one of her rare soft smiles.

"You know I have nothing but love for you Emily. You have my word. No more lies or secrets. Now tell me everything Grant said last night."