I'm sorry (Spencer Reid x reader)

12. Stuck

The dizziness and headache woke you up. You were laying on a stone floor.

"What the hell?" You mumbled to yourself.

"Good morning honey, had a good night sleep?" A voice asked, a voice you hated more then any other noise, Andrews.

"Why am I in the basement? I- I can live here with you just not in the basement" at this point, you thought you'd be stuck here forever. There was no point in even trying to escape.

"You, little rat, tried to escape. I can't trust you anymore, I thought I could trust you but turns out I can't! I can't let you be alone for even one second anymore! You have made me have no other choice but you lock you in here!"

"But Andrew please, I- I- I promise, I won't run away again!" You begged.

"Just shut the fuck up! You know I'm not gonna change my mind just because of your annoying begging attitude!"

You felt yourself about to tear up, was this your life now? Living in your own fucking basement for the rest of your life?

Pushed you against the wall when he noticed the tears.

"You should be grateful! There are people that have it worse!" By that, he left. The lock on the door twisted.
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The next morning you woke up completely alone. A note was laying on your nightstand from Spencer.

'I talked to Hotch and suggested you don't work on this case, you don't have to go home you can stay in the hotel until the case is over just not working on it. Don't worry I didn't tell him about what Andrew has done to you even though it would be good if he knew, once you feel ready to tell him I promise to be there with you. See you as soon as possible, stay safe.'

A genuine smile appeared on your face, you hadn't smiled like this for a while. You smiled because you heard his voice in your head as you read the note.

But once you realized what the note was actually saying made you slightly irritated. You wanted to work on the case, you needed to work on the case.

At the beginning of the case you didn't want to work on it because you thought it was just a regular case and the victims just coincidentally looked like you but now, the case had to be connected to you. Hotch didn't believe it was Andrew but who else would it be? The team had no other leads and Andrew fit perfectly with the profile, he even has a reason to kill the innocent women that you looked like, you were the reason.

You scrunched up the paper in your hand and threw it at the wall. The anger inside you became more intense as you continued to think about the case. Knowing that you were the reason for all these kills killed you on the inside. If only you had stayed with him, he wouldn't have killed all these innocent people! You felt like such a stupid ass for thinking that there would be no consequences for leaving him.

The hot water poured from the shower down your body. You tried to collect your thoughts but everything was such a mess. Everything was your fault.

Half an hour later you finally got out of the shower, you had only washed your body but the shower was also a good place to think. The soft towel was wrapped around your chest once you had dried off.

You sighed as you walked back out and put on some sweatpants and a hoodie from your go-bag. You were pretty much stuck inside the hotel room, you couldn't really go out and even if you could you wouldn't know what to do, you've never been to Virginia before.

You sighed again as you sat down on your bed and lean your back against the wood headboard. You started to think about Spencer, you remembered the special nights and how much you miss him being around you.

Something felt weird though, the more you thought about it the more you felt guilty. The nights you had sex with him were like releases, that's why you did it more then once. Did you use him for your own satisfaction? You didn't want to think you did but, did you? You couldn't figure out if you actually liked him or only how he made you feel better. The guilt built up more and more inside you, especially when you realized how he actually liked you and did not use you. Fuck, Andrew was right, you are a whore.

But were you supposed to tell him? That's the right thing to do but could you bring yourself up to do it? But if you told him how would he react? He would be super mad and never talk to you again and that's not what you want! You want to be with him, not sure in a relationship or friendship.

Your head was spinning as tears began rolling down your cheeks. You felt like an complete idiot for everything, you had to tell him but you couldn't.

Before you knew it there was a knock on your door, of corse it was Spencer! You wiped away your tears, it was still clear that you had been crying from your puffy red eyes though.

The door made a click sound as you opened it for Spencer, he noticed that you had been crying but he wasn't surprised. He just closed the door behind him and hugged you tight. You were to vulnerable at this moment not to cry so you let it all out. Tears streamed down your face as you sobbed in his embrace. He didn't know the real reason why you were crying, in his mind it was because of Andrew but in reality it was because of him.

A few minutes later you two sat down on the edge of the bed. You sniffled up the last tears, trying to figure out if you should tell him now or not. He definitely noticed it was something more on your mind then Andrew.

"You can tell me Y/N, what's on your mind sweetheart?" He rubbed your back as he said that.

That nickname was your weak point, you couldn't hold this is anymore. Not telling him would hurt him just as much as telling him so, fuck it.

You took a deep breath before speaking, "I have to tell you something... something I don't wanna say but I think I have to"
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Scary!!! I don't really have anything more to say, Hope you enjoy this!! <3