My Therian Journal

03/13/24

Today I have my musical theatre showcase which is fun and I once again just get to chill and probably film some quads, I have some nice costumes, one of my friends has this 1780s french military uniform-esk thing idk it's fancy, he's playing Laffette from Hamilton in a song, there's just a bunch of stuff going on.

My dad keeps almost crashing the car because he doesn't want to be late and it's giving me a panic attack

I have most of my lines in Annie memorized so that's fun. When my friend who play Ms. Hanigan first rehearsed the first scene with us, nobody could stop laughing because he did this ridiculously good New York accent and no one was expecting it

I keep getting fur on my cheeks and I keep fiddling with it and I imagine that everyone else who just sees me fiddling with my non-existent cheek fur must think I'm crazy.

I might update later!

Just realized that this is to 50th part! That's cool!

So my musical theater performance was really fun, after me and my friend had finished all of our parts, we were just chilling back stage and I was feeling ✨Shifty✨ but luckily this is the friend I'm out to, at some point I shifted and I layed down in a somewhat awkward way, my friend goes: "What are you doing? Are you worshipping a deity or something?" And I go "No, I just shifted" and he goes "to where?"

He knows I'm a therian but he doesn't know much about being a therian and I had to explain to him the I had a mental shift and when a the rain has a mental shift, they're thoughts and thought structures and actions become more animalistic, he that I reality shifted and I was like- no, wrong kind of shift-

CW: Vent

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Also my parents are fighting again and my mom keeps saying she hates my dad and my dad says he's not mad but he is, my mom said she wants to go live with her mom (my grandma) again, they're arguing more, shouting and at least it's not my fault. She keeps telling dad that he won't respect her boundaries, but she doesn't respect ours, she's crying more and I still somehow feel at fault, I hate when they fight. For a while I thought it was normal for parents to fight this much, then act like everything was okay, so many of my friends with good families can't recall more than one time their parents fought as bad as they do for me. And I just heard my mom say that she didn't want to have kids but dad made her so now I feel like I'm not wanted and everything is NOT fine for once. I wish they didn't fight like this. Every day they fight about something, sometimes is really bad like today and sometimes it's not like who should take the dogs out. My mom said that my dad doesn't care about any of us. I feel bad now :(

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Yeah but that's about it

<Jesse>