eilish tales - imagines!!

billies first time 🩸

CONTEXTT: this story is from the perspective of billie at like 11 years old, while shes at dance. finneas is also 15. 

billies pov

my hands shook violently as i bunched the toilet paper up in my hand. it was damp now, from how long i had been holding it in the palm of my sweaty hand. i stared at it, so long that i began thinking my eyes were deceiving me. my baby blue leotard was covered in blood right in the crotch, and the red that bled through the folds of toilet paper stood out against the background of the white bathroom. 

i wiped again, seeing the blood once more, confirming my thoughts. i must be dying. 

i took my phone from the top of the toilet paper dispenser, and dialed finneas' number, hoping he'd pick up. we were at dance, and i knew he was on his lunch break, because it was 12:30, but my lunch break didn't start until 1:00. i had left class because my stomach was hurting and my teacher told me to go to the bathroom, which i thought was weird. 

"hey whats up, aren't you still in class?", finneas' voice spoke through the speaker in my phone, as sobs shook my body. 

"yea im in the bathroom. i-..I- need help", i said between small sobs, trying my best to be quiet so that no one in the bathroom could hear me. 

"why whats wrong?", finneas said. his voice sounded slightly worried now. 

"well, uh, im like bleeding, and i dont know what to do and i think im dying", i said, my shaking voice filled with uncertainty. 

"where the heck are you bleeding from, did you cut yourself?", he said more worried now. 

"no i didnt cut myself, but like.." i paused, not sure how to put it

"spit it out", he said hurriedly.

"like when i wiped i was bleeding if you know what i mean. and my whole leotard is covered in blood. what the frick do i do?", i said, as nerves rushed through my body, and creeped into my throat, making my voice shake again as i spoke. 

"oh billie omg", he said, and he sounded relieved. "okay how about you call mom, and ill come over to you right now, but you have to come out of the bathroom. just put some shorts on or a jumper around your waist or something okay?"

"alright please come quick", i said, as i got ready to hang up. 

"yeah ill be like 10 minutes, make sure you call mom though okay. i think she'll be able to explain this better than i can. 

once i hung up the phone with finneas,  i looked down into the toilet bowl, and nearly gagged at what i saw. the whole thing was now filled with blood, and i was so confused and terrified. just then i heard a knock on the door. 

"billie are you okay?", said my friend olivia from the outside of the stall. 

"uh yea i, uh ill be out in like a few minutes i just-"

"do you have the runs or something?" she laughed from behind the door. 

a sob escaped my chest as i became engulfed in embarrassment. i knew i had to prove to her that i wasnt stuck on the toilet with something stupid like diarrhoea, so i pulled up my leotard and opened the door, revealing to her the wreck of my whole being. 

my hair was a mess from the hours of dancing, my baby blue leotard and pink tights were covered in blood between my thighs and my face was red and stained with tears. 

"OH MY GOD BILLIE WHAT THE HECK?", she screeched as she looked me up and down. 

"i need to call my mom, can you go tell ms G that ill be out in like 10 minutes? just tell her im sick or something.", i said with panic in my voice. 

"okay, are you sure your okay? that is so terrifying billie", she said as her eyes watered. 

"yea im fine, my stomach hurts so bad, but finneas wasnt worried for some reason when i told him so i guess i cant be dying or anything"

___

after she left i dialed my moms number, and she picked up almost immediately. 

"hey bubs, you okay?", she said in a calming tone, and after hearing her voice my panic calmed down. 

"well im like bleeding from..down there, and everytime i wipe its there, and the whole toilet is filled with blood, and i called finneas and told him, and he told me to call you, but i dont know what to do, and i think im dying, and also my stomach hurts so bad, and everyone thinks im sick because ive been in the bathroom for ages, because i have no clue what to do. and also my whole leotard is covered in blood now, and it looks like i got stabbed.", i spat out hurriedly, and sobs escaped my mouth as i finished speaking. 

"oh babyyyy, take a deep breath for me honey, its okay, your okay. i think you just got your first period my angel.  im gonna come pick you up because i dont really want you to stay there.", she says empathetically. 

"my first period, what the heck is that?" i said confused. 

"well it basically means your growing up now angel. ill explain more in the car but, you said finneas was coming so when he gets there go sit out in the reception with him and wait for me. just tell ms G that im gonna pick you up though. also wrap some toilet paper around your underwear and then put your shorts on baby" she says 

"uh okay", i say sniffling, and wiping my tears. "my stomach hurts so bad mom, is that normal?"

"ooh im sorry sweetie unfortunately it is pretty normal unless its like unbearable. im on my way right now, just sit tight okay? do you think you'll be okay?" she says, and her voice sounds choked up, but happy. 

"okay, yeah ill be okay, im scared though mom."

"its okay, its normal to be scared, but is swear it just means your growing up, and your bodies doing its job just right! maybe even a little early!!", she says. 

"okay im gonna go, i love you so much mom thank you."

"i love you to baby ill see you soon my love", she says and the phone beeps as the call ends. 

I do what she says and wrap toilet paper around my underwear, and then pull my shorts over my leotard. i get up and flush the toilet. 

as im walking out of the stall, i see ms G walk into the bathroom, and she frowns at me. she walks over to me and gives me a hug, more tears stream down my face, and at this point im not even sure why. but i do know that ms G is definitely my favourite teacher. 

"olivia said you were sick but i saw some blood on your leotard, and im assuming this has never happened before. are you okay?", she whispers gently in my ear, as she pulls out of the hug and holds my shoulders, standing directly across from me.  

"yea im alright, my stomach just hurts really bad, and it scared me so much. finneas is coming though and my moms gonna take me home" i say, my head now throbbing out of no where. 

ms G nods, and we start walking out of the bathroom after ive washed my hands and i see finneas standing near the door of the studio. 

he runs over to me and wraps me in a big hug. 

"you okay?", he whispers to me. i nod into his chest, and i feel so grateful for him. i love my big brother so much, and even though i dont fully understand whats happening, i feel so safe in his arms, and im so glad hes here. 

we pull out of the hug, and we see our mom walk into the reception part of the building. 

"im gonna come out and speak to your mom", ms G says, picking up my bag and handing it to me, and then following us out to speak to my mom. 

finneas and i sit down on the seat in the foyer, as ms G fills my mom in on what happened, and then my mom looks at me, and tells me its time to go. 

"seeya billie, i hope you feel better soon honey", ms G smiles at me as we walk out the door. 

__

in the car on the way home, i get to sit in the front seat, and my mom tells me all about whats currently happening my body. its very confusing, and im not so happy about the fact that this goes on for a week EVERY MONTH until im old, but life goes on. today was crazy. 

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 THIS WAS SO LONG SORRY AHHA