the living are hungry hodnes [ lexark ]

13] what's waiting for you

"Pleease." Chris says to Elyza. "Just one?"

"No." She says, while taking a right turn onto the highway.

"Please."

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Chris! You can't have a fucking grenade!" I had to step in. It's been 20 fucking minutes non stop and neither would back down. That would have went on for-fucking-ever!

After my outburst the van got eerily quiet. Elyza hasn't said a single word to me. Not that I blame her. It was a real dick move to try and use her feelings and protectiveness against her. Even if I really just want her to be safe. And alive. And not a medical fucking experiment again.

She could just let me go with her. I'm not fucking Wonder Woman or anything, but I can at least have her back. But no. She won't let me, because it's not safe. That's pretty much the same thing as what I'm doing.

Except not at all and I feel like shit.

I keep looking over to her, wanting to say something. Anything. I can't find the words to say, so I say nothing. I have less than one more day with her. Believe me, this is NOT the way I want to be spending it.

"Can I maybe just hold one of the grenades?" Chris starts again.

I'm gonna fucking kill him.

We are stopped outside a small shopping plaza refilling the cars and ourselves. Elyza is talking with Travis, Mom and Daniel. They are going over a map of the surrounding areas.

Nick is sitting with me while I attempt to eat. I put my head on his shoulder, knowing he understands.

"I'm sorry, Alicia." He says to me. I don't say anything but I nod. This fucking sucks.

Elyza and the rest come over to stand by us. Nick puts his arm around me, trying to help me face what's to come.

"Alright Mates." Elyza starts. "We're going to be coming up to our last obstacle. There is a small city standing in the way of you and freedom. It's pretty over run with ghouls, so once we get you through it, you shouldn't have to worry about the Corp. They are a bunch of.. " She looks at Chris. "Cover your ears Underoos, I'm about to use a big people word." Chris just stares at her. I know he wants to smile, but he plays it perfectly. Elyza holds her hand up to her mouth blocking his view as she whispers "Pussies. They are a bunch of pussies and won't attempt to go in."

"If its over run, how are we going to get through?" Travis asks her.

"Well for starters you got me." I roll my eyes. Elyza Lex everyone. The definition of humble.

"I have been in and out of the city a few times. I have a couple safe spots in case we run into any trouble. We have to go on foot though, there is no way we can get the vehicles through. We just have to stick together. And you have to listen to what I say." She looks at me for the first time since we left while she says that. She knows me too well.

"Alright. We're gonna rest up a little longer then head out. Make sure you eat, and drink some water to stay hydrated." She turns away from us and heads into the liquor store on the corner. I watch her disappear inside.

This is so stupid. I have hours left with her. Who knows how long until I see her again once we part. Don't think it. Fuck. Too late. If I will ever see her again.

I sigh. I hate this. Nick nudges me, and motions his head towards the store. I sigh again, a little more dramatically and jog after my infuriating, blonde pain in the ass.

When I walk through the doors, I see her at the sunglass rack trying on some new aviators.

"I don't want to fight anymore. If this is even a fight. Whatever it is, I want it to be done." I tell her as she looks towards me.

She pulls down her sunglasses and looks over them at me. "Do you want to make out instead?"

"Yes." I answer. I try to give her a shy smile. She raises an eyebrow at me. I shrug and walk over to her. "I have to remind you what's waiting for you."

I reach out and move the sunglasses on top of her head so I can see her eyes. I cup her cheek in my hand and stroke her lower lip with my thumb.

"I need you to remember why you have to give it your all, and win." I kiss her. It's soft at first. Light touches of lips and tongues. Then it grows with my desperation. So does the burning in my eyes.

A few tears fall and I let them. I'm reminding her that she's not alone anymore. Someone is out there, someone who cares very deeply for her. Someone who needs her to come back.

A small sob escapes my throat and she pulls back from me. "Hodnes." She starts but I cut her off.

"You're coming to find me afterwards right? You will look for us?"

She takes my face in in her hands, and swipes away the remaining tears. She's looking right into my eyes. Her gaze so intense I can't look away or blink.

"Hodnes, I gave your parents a map with some areas I believe are safe. You're going to stay there for as long as it takes me to get back. This is not our end."

I can't help it, the tears start falling again, but I nod my head letting her know I believe her. And I do. This can't be our end. I grab her by the back of her neck and kiss her. It's a hard kiss. Messy. Hungry and needy. It's our beginning, I tell myself.