~~langst~~ (one shots)

the missing make up

I got another request!!!! *Screeches* and they said super nice things and now I'm really excited to write!!!!!! That's too many exclamation marks but I'm not taking them away. Anyway I will let ye read now. The request is from MagicGalaxy007

(P.s. I'm gonna make shiro a bitch in this so roll with it)

---lances pov---

"Thank you hunk for the food! I'm going to get going and head to bed I am exhausted after today" I say cheerily.

Shiro and allura exchange angry looks.

"No problem buddy. Goodnight" hunk answers me smiling.

"Yeah sleep well" pidge says stuffing her face with food.

I'm happy for her, she's looking after herself lately. Since we found Matt she's sleeping every night and eating when she is supposed to and engaging with the rest of us. She is happy.

"Yeah" Keith says. Something is strange in his eyes. He seems put off or distant. I don't know maybe worried.

Probably about shiro.

I nod and smile before turning away and walking towards my room.

My smile drops.

Too close. That was too close.

The make up on my wrists is wearing off. I was supposed to go back to my room before dinner but I didn't get a chance. I ate my food as quick as I could.

I walk into my room and immediatly go to my bathroom. I frantically pull at my presses in search of my safety blanket. My make up.

"Where the hell is it!?"

I push bottles and tubs off my skin desperately. I knock over everything in my presses and I couldn't find any of it. Not even a compact.

Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit

"Where hell is it! I had it right here!" I cry angrily.

I finally drop to the floor in defeat. I curl up into a ball and sob heavily.

"What am I supposed to do now... Shiro... He will tell me how weak I am again. My hero thinks I'm worthless" I sob.

I grip the back of my neck and start to dig my nails in and drag them. The pain helps to calm me down. That and I deserve every bit of pain.

Ever since I was a kid I though shiro was so amazing... Everything about him. He is... Was my hero. He was the whole reason I went to the garrision at all. The whole reason why I'm now in Voltron.

Now he thinks I'm a useless child who can't be serious and is a waste of space.

I guess I am all these things but coming from him... It kills me. He just confirms all my worst thought, over and over and over and over and over and over.

Everytime I see him he glares at me, told his eyes lectures me or says something nasty.

He's never said anything nice to me.

I look at my hands and see blood covering my fingers.

Shit

Turns out I dug my nails so deep into my neck I drew blood... Shit

"I'm such a fucking waste of space. I'm useless" I sob.

I reach up to feel the back of my neck. My fingers graze over deep cuts in the back of my neck. There's a lot of blood...

"Fuck... I'm such a fucking mess..." I so angrily.

I wrap my hands around my mouth and try to dull my screams and let myself choke on my sobs.