forty-four.

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                 "I THINK I'M being stupid," Lindy sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. Beth was sitting in front of her in her living room, staring up at her with a mix of admiration and jealousy.

"Stupid?! You'd be stupid not to go out with him! He's a fucking beautiful doctor!" Beth cried, her eyes bugging slightly with added emphasis.

After she had gotten off of work, Lindy had phoned Beth and demanded that she drive to her apartment immediately. Beth had obliged, arriving and nearly collapsing at Lindy's feet when Lindy had explained to her what had happened with Doctor Turner. 

"I'm not his type," Lindy contended, looking for any sort of excuse as to why a wealthy, handsome doctor would have asked her on a date. The idea of being only arm candy to a man disgusted her and she held a great deal of skepticism towards Doctor Turner and his motives.

"Shut up, you're amazing. And besides, whose type are you then?"

A sensitive, weird, funny, sweet, grunge rocker's type, Lindy thought to herself. Realizing how corny this sounded, she shuddered and shook off the passing image of Kurt's face. Now was not a time to be thinking about him, not when she was deliberating on whether or not she would take a leap of faith and go on a date with another man.

"I don't know, Beth. But I'm not his. And I'm not going to bow down to him and fawn over him like every other female in that hospital. I have my own shit to deal with. Just because he's Mister Gorgeous Doctor Man --"

Beth interrupted her with guffawing laughter, lifting her blonde eyebrows. "Mister Gorgeous Doctor Man?"

"You know what I mean," Lindy snapped. "I'm not going to be something I'm not for this guy!"

"Lindy, I highly doubt that he's expecting you to change. He sought you out for being you in the first place. You know, the prissy girl who walks with a stick up her ass."

"I do NOT walk with a stick up in my ass," Lindy fumed. "You're being so sexist right now. Just because I'm a woman who takes her job seriously --"

Beth interjected again. "Relax, Linds, I'm kidding. You're an incredible woman, okay? Just don't pass up Jack because you have misconceptions about him. And hey, I'm one of those females that you're talking about. Jack's great, cut us all some slack." 

"Jack?" Lindy snorted, unable to believe her ears. "Is that what we're calling him now?"

"Yeah. You only get to call him Doctor Turner once you guys are in bed together."

Lindy made a noise of revulsion, gagging and pretending to lean forward with a heaving motion. She would have rather died on the spot than daydream about being in bed with anyone. The timing felt all wrong. Maybe months ago she would have considered it, even enjoyed the thought of intimacy with a good-looking guy, but after seeing Nirvana's music video, she'd yearned for nothing except celibacy. 

Of course she wouldn't allow herself to daydream. 

And that included dreaming of Kurt. Dreaming about him was as healthy for her as banging her head repeatedly into a wall.

"Ugh, ew, please no."

"Alright, but c'mon, admit it. How cool would it be if you both hit it off, fall in love and get married? You'll be Mrs. Turner, badass nurse who has a great career, great husband, big house and most likely adorable kids."

Lindy sighed, but the picture Beth was painting did drift through her head. It was a very different future than the one that she had imagined for herself. Back then, she had already had all of what Beth had listed minus the big house and Doctor Turner himself. She'd had Kurt in all those scenarios.

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