𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘀 ʲᵒˢʰᵃʸᵃ

Chp. 35 walls could break

Maya was empty. She knew that she was over exaggerating this 'problem' but every time she looks at Josh, she becomes unstable. She doesn't know who to talk to because her relationship with her friends has gone downhill to the point where everything just becomes awkward.

Maya was a responsible student as the professors in her college would say. Apparently she has matured enough to be called remarkable and an excellent as well as an exceptional student. But when it comes to josh, she can't help but think about the fourteen year old girl who had a stupid crush on him. A crush that still lived til today.

Her fighting chance has brought up a barrier in the beginning of the year, but now in March the wall is starting to break down. She's losing every bit of her energy. Maya was smart enough to know that the recent kiss meant nothing to josh, but then she thought back to her childhood.

If the kiss meant nothing to josh, then how come he remembers what happened when they were both eight and eleven?

Her train of thoughts were interrupted when Riley bursted through the door. Sure, their friendship was slowly dying but there were sometimes when the nostalgia hit them hard, "Riles what's wrong?" Maya was concerned to see Riley's face drenched in tears.

Riley's face was blotchy with teary red eyes. Her voice, hoarse sounding like she had a sore throat, "Farkle." It was a coincidence that at that time Farkle walked in, "Tell her Farkle."

Maya's face changed once she heard the next few words that could change her life, "I got a email from Dartmouth." There was nothing else that need to be said. Maya got the hint as tears lingered in her eyes, begging to be spilled from her pupils, "I'm sorry."

Maya cleared her throat, "No there's nothing that you need to be sorry for." She smiled through the pain, it was something that she established being good at throughout her life. Farkle gave her a generous smile. He was thankful for her blessing and her control over her tears, only to be spilled when he was leaving. She knew that once she started crying, it would be a mess.

Right until then, Riley started bursting into tears. Now it's Maya's time to be the shoulder for Riley to cry on. She knew she has to be a better and bigger person as Riley could let out all the pain, anger, and sadness with a privilege, while she had to keep it in.

Maya knew that it was a hard time for Riley, but Farkle meant as much as to her than the girl who could have everything she has ever wanted. Maya was a good friend, and there was no doubt in that. Yet, there was only so much pain, anger, and sadness she could take.

She had already reached her breaking point. After that, Maya thought she would be free from all the sufferings yet she sits here as an anchor for Riley like a caged animal in chains. She knew she had to be a good friend, but she couldn't help but feel the rage burning inside of her.

Her kindness towards Riley turned into something more evil.

● ● ●

Maybe it was a triggering moment of depression and sadness, or the fact that Zay and Vanessa are going back to Texas to start something new, but Maya couldn't get the bad thoughts out of her head. It's been a week since Farkle told Riley and her. Apparently Smackle is also going with him.

In her mind, everybody was leaving her. Just the way her dad did when she was five years old. Maya didn't ask for this traumatic experience all over again. Yet she had to be happy for her friends who got better opportunities, even though she knew better than to bottle up her emotions and explode later.

Maya gave a pained smile to the group of four who seemed happy. She didn't want to blow their fire away, or cry a river and rinse out their flames. She didn't want to be the cause of their sadness.

She was going to have to be an amazon warrior. And from all the things she has learned in the past throughout her nineteen years of living, is to never leave a trace of your emotions. Maya knew from experience and habits that she remained stone faced. No ounce of emotion whether is was happiness, depressed, sadness, or anger was shown.

Maya gave them a firm nod and remained her posture as she watched the group get into a cab with their suitcases in the trunk, waving au revoir to them. Riley wasn't helping with the cries of her tears in the background and Lucas softly shushing her.

On the other hand Josh looked deeply concerned. From the way that Maya was acting towards him and others was completely off. He knew her well enough that she is trying to stay strong. Yet he learned from experience that you can only build a barrier for so long. It's bound to break down.

"Maya are you okay?" Josh placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

Maya sighed and turned around opening her eyes. She gave him a smile that he was almost fooled to think it was genuine. Josh knew her little act, "I will be."

Maya smiled far off into the distance. It was time to welcome her old friend.

The darkness.

A/N: again a filler. the ideas will be slowly hinted throughout the next few chapters. bare with me, because I'm not going to promise to be updating very often. i love you guys 🖤

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