The Nerd Who Rules The School

Chapter 30

All that had happened seemed like a dream, something so out of the world. I sat in the middle of the mess that I had created, torn books were all over my normally spotless floor; teared papers were crumpled around me. For the first time ever, my bookshelves were empty- completely, utterly empty.

The adrenaline that was plumbing through my veins seconds ago was now gone, leaving a bone-tired body behind. The sleepless night was now catching up on me, yet I wouldn't sleep. Maybe I was afraid that when I woke up, all these would still be here, nothing would have changed. Maybe I was still hoping that this was just a nightmare, one that just seemed very realistic.

I sat there rocking back and forth. The tears still hadn't fallen, my throat was throbbing painfully, screaming for water. I welcomed the pain, at least it created a small distraction.

Suddenly, heavy footsteps broke the silence that had enwrapped the house. Quiet thudding steps were heard as someone walked up the stairs. I didn't even bother to look up when someone knocked on my door urgently.

A few moments later, I heard my doorknob turned and my door made the slightest creak.

"Laura." He whispered, yet I could hear it very clearly, the raw concern in his tone echoed in my hollow chest.

I said nothing, wishing he would leave me alone. He crept slowly and quietly towards me, as if approaching a frightened animal. His footsteps were amplified as it stepped on the littered papers.

He knelt down next to me, and whispered once again, "Laura." But this time, he sounded more shocked than anything.

"What had you done?" The sadness and worrisomeness in his tone was too much. I don't want his sympathy.

I lifted my head and met his stupid, beautiful blue eyes, it widen when he could see no evidence of tears. Then it soften almost immediately and I had to look away, I couldn't stand his pitiful look.

"Laura, you should eat something. It had almost been a day since you last ate." He whispered softly.

I continued to stare into space, I was too tired to answer him, all the anger had drain away, leaving me feeling as hollow as ever.

"Laura," the desperation in his voice was too much, I could tell he wanted to help me, but I didn't need his pity. I clenched my eyes tightly, trying to block away his voice. I longed for the silence, I rather drown in my thoughts than stay in this nightmare, this thing you called reality.

"Laura, you should sleep, rest." He tried helping me up, but I was like a dead weight, I refused to move.

Sleeping will just provide temporary escape, or worse, blissful ignorance and hope.

He was stronger than I gave credits to, he pulled me up the second time almost effortlessly. He let go of me and I crashed down-my legs had been numbed for too long-, but he caught me before I hit the floor again, his arm snaked around my waist, supporting my whole weight.

As soon as I found the little strength I still had left, I pushed him away. He was unprepared and he stumbled away, but regained his balance quickly.

"Laura stop." He came back and stood just a few feet away, staring at me with those concerning eyes.

"Go away," I said hoarsely, my voice sounded so small, so vulnerable, I hated it. "Leave me alone."

"No Laura." Then he hugged me. His arms went around my shoulders and he pulled me closer, resting my head on his chest. I tried pulling away, but his arms were like iron, caging me.

"Let me go! Stop!" I tried screaming at him but it came out as a pathetic croaked. He responded by tightening his arms around me.

"It's okay, everything is going to be okay." He said softly, his tone unexpectedly soothing.

"It's not going to be okay! It's never going to be okay!" I screamed at him, but it was muffled by his sweater.

Maybe it was the hug, the warmth or maybe it was his voice, or him. I had finally broken down, like a glass that finally shattered under all the pressure. Tears started falling down, rolling down my face like raindrops on windows. Loud ugly sobs racked through me, my body shaking from the release. His hand caressed my hair, comforting me as I cried.

I cried for Maya, for myself, for all those broken dreams and promises. I cried for all those things that could have happened, all those memories that we could no longer create together. I cried for all those lost opportunities, for the things we could have done together. I cried and cried and cried.

For as long as I remembered; I had only cried in front of my parents when I was younger. When I was older, only Maya had ever seen me cried, only she had ever comfort me, not even my parents could. And now, she wasn't here to comfort me, the empty presence of her spoke louder than Asher's comforting words that he had been whispering to me nonstop.

I had no idea how long I had been crying, I cried until there was no tears left. I felt exhausted, his arms were the only that was holding me up right now. I could feel the tear stain on my face, making them itchy. His presence was the only thing grounding me. His sweater was soaked by my tears, yet neither of us care. Slowly, as my hiccups ended, he guided me towards my bed and laid me down gently.

Exhaustion had finally won over and my eyelids started to drop. The sweet, merciless sleep had finally gotten to me. Before I would surrender to it, I clutched his sweater tightly and whispered, "Please stay with me, just for tonight. Please." I didn't care how vulnerable I sounded, I couldn't have another person leaving me again so soon.

I didn't know his response as my eyes had already closed, but I felt his presence besides me as I fell into the abyss.