Not A Chance

Chapter 20 - The Scientific Method

Spider-Man and Deadpool both stood next to one another. Their hands up, Spidey's USB drive still plugged in the computer and a bunch of armed men standing right in front of them, all guns were aimed at the pair.

"We were just leaving..." Spider-Man said with a nervous chuckle.

"Don't move or we'll open fire." One of the men warned, suddenly Wade had the urge to dance. The unknown man's attention turned to the arachnid. "Spider-Man." He said in a monotone voice, as if pointing a gun a Spider-Man were an everyday thing.

Spidey nodded at him. "Jonathan."

Wade's head snapped in the hero's direction, he wasn't sure if he should be surprised, confused or both. "You know him?"

"Told you I've been here plenty of times before." Spidey shrugged.

"And you became friends with security?"

"I never said I was always successful."

"Stop talking!" A woman shouted, making both men jump. All of the security guards stood still, Wade figured they were too scared to approach them, specially when one of them carried more weapons than security themselves.

"Just shoot them all." Said White.

"How are we supposed to harm them when all we have is rubber bullets?" Replied Yellow.

"Oh yeah, courtesy of your friendly neighborhood guy-we-don't-have-a-single-chance-with."

"We have katanas."

"We're unaliving no one." Wade muttered to himself.

"If you don't unalive all these stupid officers right now, they'll unalive you both. And something tells me Spidey can't come back from the death."

"Endgame isn't out yet, so we don't know that."

"Deadpool." Spider-Man's voice thankfully pulled him out of his thoughts. He leaned closer ever so slightly but his eyes were still fixated on security. "At the count of three I'll need you to grab the drive." He whispered.

"Is he joking? The hell is he trying to do?"

"Got it." Replied Wade.

"One." He started counting. "Two." Wade looked at Spidey's hand, noticing he was about to shoot his web shooters. "Three!"

Wade moved quickly. He basically jumped on the desk and pulled out the USB drive, before falling to the floor, landing on his back. He held up the object with a victorious "Yeehaw!" When he stood back up all he saw was a bunch of security guards laying unconscious on the floor, a broken fan and pieces of it scattered all over the place.

"Did Spidey just say 'fuck the cops' and fucking knocked them out cold?"

"I think so." Wade smiled proudly, he couldn't believe he'd just witnessed Spider-Man, the good guy, knock out a group of police officers, the good guys.

Spider-Man looked back at Wade. "Time to go." He backflipped over the officers because he's extra like that and waved goodbye, Deadpool followed suit. "I'm very sorry! Send us the hospital bill!"

"Of course he had to apologize."

"For a moment there I really thought we were witnessing Spidey's true gangster nature."

In the end both men escaped through a window they actually had to break, it was pointless to be careful now, they'd been seen and soon enough Oscorp would be hunting them down. But that's a problem for another day.