Crown of Thorns

Chapter Forty-Two

The Hanged Man, Guarding Camp, Day 136 A.F

I never thought I'd find the sound of snores comforting. At least not until Flower lay curled against me, nose softly buzzing with each easy breath.  Tybira and Enki both snored as well, but theirs were louder, more jarring. Not so peaceful like Flower's. I hadn't even noticed she snored at all until she pressed herself against my legs. Ever so often she'd snuggle closer, as if I could protect her against whatever nightmares stirred in her mind. Or maybe she was simply cold. Her face was completely hidden by a tangle of brown hair, one bit quivering with each rhythmic breath and little hum.

Did Circe snore? I'd never entered her bedroom while she slept, though I doubted I'd even be questioned. But she was royalty, and I was the bastard adoptee. No matter how far I'd strayed from my place, I knew where it was, and it was wherever Circe ordered me to be. I wasn't always careful about remaining within my bounds, but that was one rule I hadn't broken. I'd just condemned myself to standing each night outside a door that would never open, constantly wishing that it would.

But Circe never had me, no matter how certain I sometimes was that she wanted to, no matter how often I knew my feelings were so strong, they couldn't be wrong, or that I loved her enough for the both of us. I loved her. She loved her kingdom. But Ayesha... she loved me.

She was real. She was warm, breathing, trusting me. Flower wasn't just a dead memory, she wasn't a fantasy. She was my hope for the future, Circe was my fading dream. Ayesha was to be the answer to why I bothered enduring this world. Circe was a question I'd never solve.

And I was a guard. The one thing I knew how to do was protect people, and I'd damn well defend Ayesha. Even if she hated me for it. She was an idiot to think we could trust that Bird-Boy and his new partner. We'd agreed that she'd off him as soon as the opportunity presented itself, and it had a long time ago. This had been her idea. And if she was too blinded by her good nature to see she was condemning us all, I'd just have to fulfill her responsibility for her. Flower would thank me someday. She'd thank me when she saw I was saving all of us.

I'd been dubbed the leader, which meant it was my duty to do what no one else wanted to. Lucky for them, I did want to. Enki was right, I couldn't use my powers. What could swordsmanship do when compared to wings and wolves, plants and magic? Not much, but it could easily take care of two slumbering enemies.

I wiggled away from Flower, at once missing her warmth. Everyone slept soundly, trusting me to keep the watch. Tybira's animals slept, at ease so long as their master was. Even the Moon and the Archangel were deeply asleep, somehow letting their guards down while I kept watch. The Moon might not know better, but Judgement had plenty of time to learn that I was his enemy. His death was partially his own fault if he was truly stupid enough to relax while only I remained alert.

In fact, it seemed to be Ayesha who trusted me least. While Judgement and the Moon slept completely unguarded under my watch, Ayesha's plants and grasses always managed to wrap themselves around my sword. At first I'd believed it was a coincidence, but after a few nights I was certain Ayesha would rather I'd be left weaponless, than trust me not to dispatch the enemies she'd fallen for.

But she was finally careless. Either that or she believed my half hearted concessions and convinced herself that I'd go along with this fool's quest to Aphrodisia. My sword lay free at my side.

It was Matthew that worried me. Flower might have trusted that fox, but he'd stolen me from Circe and let her drown. I always got the eerie feeling that no matter how oblivious he seemed, he was watching us. Whether asleep or awake, I couldn't shake the thought that he knew exactly what was going on. But would he support me or Judgement? As much as I hated to admit it, Matthew had saved me from the Flood, so I had to trust he wanted me alive. And if he wanted me alive, then maybe he'd allow me to dispatch with our two uninvited guests.