Faded Gem: A Story About Overcoming Anorexia

Chapter Twelve

(A/N: Dammit, I thought I was being clever with the reference in the last chapter. I mean, yeah, it was technically based off of Subway, so you guys are still right, but... I guess The Beatles really are outdated. Aw, well. Enjoy the chapter! ^_^

Edited: Hey, sorry, guys! Apparently, I accidentally pressed 'Publish' instead of 'Save' when I wasn't finished with the chapter yet, so I apologize to any of you who got the unfinished version. But I've finished it now, so hopefully, it makes more sense to you now! God, that was embarrassing. Hope you enjoy!) 

    Tender Soul was writing down Rarity's statements in her notebook as she spoke. "That's wonderful! I'm so glad that you were able to overcome those voices in your head. Do you remember what comes next?"

   Rarity had her recovery plan memorized to the point where she barely had to think about it. "'O'. 'Openness to Overcome Obstacles'."

    "Right. What do you think you can do this week to achieve that?" Tender Soul questioned. 

    Rarity thought for a moment. "Um... try to overcome something new this week?"

    Tender Soul smiled and nodded. "I think that's a great goal! Come back next week and tell me how it goes."

    Rarity forced herself to smile. "I will."

                                                                                           ***

   Rarity sat by her friends in the Canterlot High School cafeteria once more. Rarity's friends smiled as she took her usual spot across from Applejack and next to Twilight. 

    "Hello, girls," Rarity greeted, warmly. "Sorry it took me so long. The teacher needed to talk to me about homework."

    "No problem," Rainbow Dash assured her.

    "Did you bring a lunch today?" Sunset Shimmer asked in concern. 

    Rarity shook her head. "I... I forgot this morning."

   Rarity's friends frowned. It was clear that they were unconvinced. 

   "Rarity... you need to eat something," Applejack said. "Ah'm sorry to be so straightforward with ya, but we're... really worried about ya."

   Pinkie Pie tried to be as gentle as she could as she put a bit of her fruit salad in a cup and slid it over to Rarity. "How about just a little bit? We can start small if you want."

   "Pinkie, I'm not hungry," Rarity told her. 

   "I just want to help you," Pinkie Pie insisted, sadly. "It's been a long time since I've seen you smile and that makes me sad."

   Without another word, Rarity slid the fruit salad cup back to Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie didn't protest and put it back on her tray. 

   "How about an apple?" Applejack offered.

   Rarity watched Applejack pull an extra apple out of her lunchbox. 

   "Grown fresh at my farm," Applejack said. "Ah always bring more with me in case ah need a snack." 

   Reluctantly, Rarity took the apple from Applejack's hand. Seeing Applejack smile in relief made Rarity's heart begin to pump faster and her face grow warm. 

   However, Rarity still couldn't help but stare at the apple hesitantly. She already felt guilty for eating so much the day prior and was having a hard time bringing herself to eat now. 

   Applejack sighed sadly, but decided to leave Rarity be. She knew that Rarity was fighting a difficult battle and the last thing Applejack wanted to do was make Rarity feel inadequate. 

   The rest of Rarity's friends exchanged a sad glance before returning to their food. 

   Rarity picked up the apple and rolled it around in her hand. She was staring at the apple, contemplating whether she should eat it. She felt tears welling up in her eyes. She knew that she had to eat, but she didn't want to face the fear of gaining weight again. 

   "Hey, Rare," Rainbow Dash said. "Are you... going to eat that apple?"

   Applejack shot a glare at Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Dash glanced back at her in confusion. Applejack whispered something in Rainbow's ear and she seemed to understand. Rainbow Dash gave Rarity an apologetic look and Rarity smiled reassuringly. 

  Looking back down at the apple clutched in her hand, Rarity sighed. Despite the demons in her mind screaming at her not to eat it, she knew that she couldn't let her family and friends down. Especially since they'd been by her side since the beginning of her road to recovery.

    Lunch was nearing its end and food wasn't allowed outside of the cafeteria. Rarity knew it was now or never. She could either fail and face telling her therapist that she hadn't eaten or she could pass this step of her recovery and move forward. 

   But I have to have the openness to overcome obstacles, Rarity thought. If I'm forcing myself to eat for the sake of my family and friends, am I really being open to the challenges ahead?

    Rarity knew that eating for the sake of others wasn't going to help her recover. Tender Soul had explained that to her in their session last week. 'Anorexia is a mental disorder, not a physical disorder', Tender Soul had explained. 'Forcing yourself to eat because others are begging or pleading you to isn't recovery. You have to want to recover yourself. You have to eat for you and not for others. In fact, eating just because you feel like you're going to let people down if you don't can lead to another eating disorder that falls on a spectrum. It's known as 'OSFED' which stands for 'Other Specified Feeding or Eating Disorders'. You're trying to recover from your eating disorder, not switch the problem entirely.'

   Rarity knew that her therapist was right. Rarity wanted to recover from this. Not just for her friends and family, but to feel like herself again. Rarity could feel herself growing distant from the girl that she was each day and if she didn't do something, she was going to lose her. 

   And if she ate the apple, she knew it was because she'd have to be the one open to the trials ahead. Sometimes, during recovery, you'd have to be a little selfish. And that's okay, Rarity decided. I want this to end. 

    About five minutes before lunch was over, Rarity finally took a bite out of the apple. She looked over to see her friends smiling at her. She knew she wasn't the only one affected by her eating disorder and she was striving to fix all the damage that her anorexia had done, not just to her- but to her friends.

(Edited A/N: Okay, this is the full chapter now! Just putting this here, so you guys know and I can keep my sanity. ^_^ Alright! The next chapter should be out pretty soon! 

Also, if you guys didn't know yet, I'm turning this story into an audio drama! But I need somebody to write original songs for it since I can only write stories and not songs. I suck at writing artistic lyrics. I really do. So if you're interested, please leave a comment below the announcement I made on my profile! It's the one underneath my apology for accidentally posting this chapter ahead of time. More info about it is on that announcement as well. Bye for now! And as always, hope the next chapter doesn't disappoint!)