Mina

Library Wisdom

"How are you both not working?" I asked from where I was stranded in an aisle between two bookshelves. A stack of books on the floor in front of me and the cart behind. "It's Saturday, isn't that like a guaranteed work day for a restaurant employee?"

"The boss is my uncle." Max said like that clarified everything.

"Toby owed me a favor." Chelsea added from the next aisle over.

"So you thought you'd just sit here with me while I worked all day?" It didn't seem like a first choice to me.

"I can't believe this." Max said from where he was sprawled out on the floor on the other side of the cart. "He's literally been writing to you like you've gotten his letters and never bothered to write back."

"I know, right? It's kind of sad really." Chelsea agreed. "He seems really sweet."

"I just don't understand how he could keep himself motivated to write." I glanced over at Max who was folding one of the letters back up. "If someone didn't write me back I'd probably give up after the first handful."

"He obviously loves you." Chelsea peered between a gap in books at me.

I nodded my head, what they were saying made sense. But it still didn't make me feel anymore ready to see him again. Every time I thought maybe I could say yes to his invite I started to panic.

"And you said you guys talk a lot? On the phone?" Max asked.

"Yeah." My voice caught in my throat making it sound like a croak rather than a definitive answer.

"So what's the hold up then?" Max pulled another letter out, the paper rustling as he unfolded it.

I shrugged, a list of reasons compiling themselves in order for me to read off. But there was only one that really matter.

"What if we meet and then that's it? He wants nothing to do with me?"

I hadn't been able to voice the question out loud yet, not to myself or anyone. But I wasn't going to hold back from Chelsea and Max anymore. At least not about this. I owed them this.

Max snorted in disbelief, Chelsea agreeing with "don't be ridiculous."

"He wouldn't write years of letters if he wasn't going to stay." Chelsea continued.

"Seriously. Why'd he even leave in the first place?" Max asked.

I had abandoned my task momentarily as Max and Chelsea dissected my life and the letters, just like I knew they would. I couldn't focus on the books and where they went while my heart was sputtering harder than normal in my chest and my thoughts kept blaring warning signals for all that could go wrong.

"Penny said he just served her divorce papers and split. No warning." I told them.

I could practically hear both of them roll their eyes as they scoffed in unison. They had definitely become one over the course of the summer. Two bodies, one brain. It was mildly terrifying.

"That's bullshit. What'd he say?" Max said.

"Haven't asked."