i listened to one direction while writing this chapter and it made me really sad LOL enjoy
"Are you sure you want to do this Bella?" Cheryl asked, tapping away on her phone.
"Yes I'm sure. It's what I need." I spoke, twirling my hair in my fingers, while the hairdresser prepped the bleach.
I was dying my hair blue, something that I had wanted to do for a long time but never saw any point, until now. I knew that having a new hair colour would not change my way of thinking or heal me, but I needed a change. Something needed to be different, and I believed whole-heatedly that this was the first step in truly, beginning to heal.
"There's no going back from here, doll." My hairdresser spoke, beginning to rub bleach on various strands of my hair.
The entire time she was working on my hair, I stared at my reflection in the mirror, not batting an eyelash or second guessing my very spontaneous decision to dye my hair dark blue. I just needed a change of scenery. I'd been stuck for so long, unable to move on with my life so I thought that doing this may help to kickstart getting me out of the hole I'd been sitting in for the past year and a half.
Before I knew it, she was blow drying my hair. I now had bangs and my locks were a dark purple-blue colour. I completely adored how it looked on me, and Cheryl did too.
"Do you like it?" The lady asked, ruffling my hair in her hands.
"I'm in love with it. Thank you so much," I smiled at her.
I paid for my hair and Cheryl and I left quickly, as it was getting late at night when we exited the salon.
It was a Saturday night, so after dropping Cheryl off I decided to go for a drive around LA, slightly regretting that I chose the hair dresser that was so far from Berkeley. It wasn't ideal, but the price was right so I didn't mind that five hour drive it was to get here.
I was nearing six pm, so there wasn't too much traffic and a cool breeze hung in the air. There was no leftover slush from the brief snowfall that was last week, so thankfully the streets were clear and there were no apparent accidents on the highway.
I drove for no longer than half an hour, finally reaching the outskirts of Los Angeles. I drove up one of the many mountains and parked my car, getting out and sitting on the hood I looked over the city.
The sun was beginning to set over the horizon, and many people were out hiking. There were even kids playing in the streets, and stray dogs running around the desert land. It made me feel at peace with the world around me, seeing everybody in their own little worlds made me realize that my problems wouldn't matter in a few years, and they were quite minimal considering what other people could be going through.
I sat like that for a while, watching the sun completely fall behind the skyline and the air becoming chilly as I pulled my hoodie tighter around my body.
As the city lay to rest, I found myself becoming restless. I wasn't surprised, though. For the past year and a half my sleeping schedule was off. I was never able to sleep fully through the night, it was between nightmares or the feeling of loneliness creeping in on me in the early hours of the morning. Over time, I'd become used to the lack of sleep, it's part of the reason why I didn't have any classes until at least ten in the morning.
The idea of becoming nocturnal always appealed to me anyways.
At a certain point hikers stopped passing my parked car and there were no longer children playing soccer in the streets, so I took that as my clue to head back to my dorm. If I wasn't going to sleep I could at least catch up on homework or go to the twenty four hour gym, anything to keep my mind from wandering to a dark place.
I got in my car and drove to the gym, mentally thanking myself that I always kept a change of clothes in the trunk..
I easily found a parking spot right outside of the gym, but I walked across the street to the coffee shop that I had grown to love since moving to California.
There was nobody inside, just me and the one barista sitting behind the counter, waiting for any customers that might find their way into the twenty-four hour cafe. I smiled and Jane as she noticed my presence.
"The usual?"
"Can I make it decaf?"
"Decaf? What's gotten into you, Isabella." She laughed.
Jane was a girl about my age, saving up so she could travel the world. She studied esthetics in university, but was unable to find a steady career in it so here she was, saving up so she could do what I was doing two years ago. The only difference between us, was she was doing it with her wife, a person that genuinely loved her.
I'd been here quite often, on my day tripsnto LA with Cheryl, and after the first few times the workers knew my face, and knew exactly what my order was. Although I wouldn't say we were friends, but acquaintances. I knew most of them, but we only ever saw each other when I came in here.
"I might try to sleep tonight, we'll see what happens." Even though it was a five hour drive to get home, both of us knew I wouldn't be sleeping tonight.
The door dinged, signalling that somebody had walked in. From looking out of the corner of my eye, I saw the person abruptly stop one they fully entered, then made their way to the bathroom, walking quickly behind me.
Weird. I thought, not giving it any more of my attention as weird people was something I'd grown accustomed to since moving here.
I stepped to the side while Jane made my coffee, scrolling through my phone as the person walked straight passed me, and out the door.
"Here you go girly. When you're done at the gym maybe you wanna come hangout here for a bit? If you're gonna be up for a while, I'm doing the night shift alone."
"I probably will. See you in a bit," I smiled, taking the coffee out of her hands, listening to the ding of the door as I exited the cafe.
"Bella?"
I stopped dead in my tracks, my eyes widening as I stared at the cement sidewalk in front of me. As much as I wanted to turn around, I couldn't. I knew that once I saw him I'd break even worse than I did after hearing his voice over the radio. I'd spiral ten times worse, and I didn't want to know what that was going to look like.
I gulped, before running across the street and to my car, grabbing my gym bag from the trunk with shaky hands.
"Isabella, please. I want-no. I need to talk to you." He spoke, running after me.
Letting out a shaky breath and squeezing my eyes shut, I turned to him.
When I finally opened my eyes there he was, standing right in front of me.
Those green eyes I fell in love with so long ago, gazing into my soul, searching for answers.
I studied his face for a moment. He looked much older, and tired. His eyes were sunken and there was stubble on his upper lip, his lips pursed together and his eyebrows furrowed, the street lamps casting sharp shadows on the highest points of his face.
"No," I spoke, slamming my car door shut and walking into the gym.
Holy crap.
+ i made my parents watch the crosswalk concert harry did with james corden and my mom was making fun of his pants and i was like "shut up pls you're insulting my happiness" so anyways
THANK YOU GUYS FOR THE KIND MESSAGES AND COMMENTS I LOVE READING THEM IT MAKES ME FEEL HAPPY I LOVE YOU ENDLESSLY
until next time xoxox
