FALLING JUST HIT 100K AND FINE LINE IS AT 11K THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH
"Tell me about it." I sighed, combing a hand through my hair.
Harry laid back, setting the water bottle on my nightstand. He looked at me, a frown prominent on his face.
"What?" I asked.
"How did we end up here, Bella?"
I scoffed, bringing my knees to my chest. "Why don't you ask yourself that, Harry."
"You know, I never wanted to hurt you." He spoke slowly, sitting up on the bed.
"So we're doing this now, huh?" I asked, already beginning to regret my decision to not leave him drunk at Camille's house last night.
"I mean, if you don't want to talk that's okay. But can you at least listen to what I have to say?"
I nodded, not sure if this was a good idea or not. Did I really want to have this conversation right now? I guess getting it over and done with was for the best. Then after today I really wouldn't have any reason to talk to him... maybe that's why I didn't want to have this conversation. There would be absolutely zero reason for us to have any form of communication after this, I was still holding onto him, and I needed to let go.
"I loved you Isabella, I really did. When you weren't around I was lonely, but it's not an excuse for hurting you the way I did." He whispered, his eyes never meeting mine. "I hate myself for what I did to you."
I nodded, gesturing for him to go on. If I spoke, I'm sure that my voice would crack and I would break down, and that wasn't something I wanted to do in front of my ex.
"When you ran into us at the supermarket, Desiree and I were just friends. I mean that, Bella. There was nothing happening between us, she was just somebody who Gemma was staying with, and I soon became close with her. After you left on tour she came to a few shows with Gemma and my mum... but when they left she stayed. She became close with a few people from the crew so they let her travel with us. I was doing shrooms while writing the album, and since she was close with management they let her stick around. Anyways, one night after we came back home we were all high off our brains, and she kissed me. I didn't want her too though, I jumped out of a window and actually bit a piece of my tongue off to get away from her." He stared at me, waiting for me to say something. I couldn't muster any words, so I just nodded and looked at the ground, waiting for him to continue.
"That night in the club, I was high and lonely. I missed you so terribly bad, I would have never done that sober. I was crossed, between the drinking and mushrooms I had no idea what was going on... and it just happened. I would have never done anything like that to you, Bella. I genuinely had no idea what was happening."
"What about when I came to your apartment?" I asked, a few tears trickling down my face.
"I had smoked weed a few hours before so I wasn't exactly sober, but she showed up out of nowhere wanting me to do stuff with her. I told her that I had a girlfriend and I didn't want anything to do with her after what happened on New Years. She started arguing with me, because I was telling her to leave."
"Wait then... Why'd you tell me she was your tour manager? You didn't seem like you were excited to see me." I spoke, my voice barely above a whisper.
"I didn't want to hurt you...she was insulting you, Bella. I wasn't in a good mood because of her storming into my house, and I was going to tell you about everything, I just needed time."
I nodded, turning my head to look at him.
He looked at me, a worried expression covered his face. His lips were slightly parted and he breathed, and his eyebrows were furrowed. "Please say something, Bella."
"I'm not sure what you want me to say, Harry."
"Ask me anything... please. I'll answer anything you want to know but please, just say something."
"Why'd you start doing shrooms? And smoking weed? You didn't seem very fond of either of those things when we were together."
"The same reasons why you did, to forget."
"Forget about what?"
"Robin dying, and hurting the most important person in my life."
My mouth dropped to the floor as he spoke. "Robin died?" Nobody told me anything about him passing.
Harry nodded. "When I asked why you weren't at the funeral your parents said it was because you were in rehab..."
"Oh my god." I whispered, eyes wide.
Suddenly I felt angry, at my parents, at Harry, at everyone. Why was everyone lying to me? I know that I wasn't in a good place two years ago, but this was quite a significant event in all of our lives. Why the hell did my mom and dad keep this from me?
I stood up from my place on the bed, throwing my hoodie over my head.
"Thank you for this Harry, but you can leave now. I have what I need, now I don't need to see you ever again." I put my shoes on.
"What?" He stared at me quizzically. "I thought maybe we could talk more... there's still so much I need to say." His eyes darted between mine.
"You said I didn't need to talk if I didn't want to, and I don't. Thank you for taking care of me, and I'm sorry for running over your foot, and I'm sorry that your decisions caused us to end things. I have nothing else to say to you, so you can leave."
"Can you at least think about this? I want us to be on good terms at the very least."
I grabbed my car keys and phone, along with my unpacked book bag. "Harry. I need time to process everything you said, I honestly don't know if I'll ever want to talk about this any further. Right now, I'm angry at the fact that everyone is lying to me and I don't know why so please, stop asking questions. If you won't leave I will, but I expect you to be gone when I come back." And with that, I headed out of my room, and down the stairs. Once in my car I pulled out my phone, dialling a number.
"Calum? It's Bella, do you still wanna grab coffee?"
