euphoria | jungkookxreader

part 50

It had been a while since I had heard from Jungkook.

As much as I wanted to call him a jerk, I knew that he was just hurting. Knowing all of this didn't make it hurt any less, though.

What felt like was just going to be a few hours of him sulking in his room turned into days. Days turned into him rejecting anybody's outreach for a whole week. He left the house and it left me feeling empty. Everybody else, for the most part, had also secluded away to their private apartments and homes, so I didn't feel happy being in that big house by myself.

I left two days after Jungkook did, and managed to make my apartment livable even while my kitchen was being worked on. I was still lonely, but it was easier to be less lonely in a smaller space for sure.

By the time the dinner came around, Jungkook was nowhere to be heard from. I had anxiously texted him, hoping to hear if he would be coming or not, but he never responded to me.

I hadn't realized how much I had hoped he would be there, or how much I had wanted to show him the restaurant, or how much I wanted to cook for everybody, but especially him. I hadn't realized how important he was to me.

Even though Yoongi and I had both long recovered from our date blunder, we never got a chance to say anything to Jungkook before he shut everybody else out. I never got a chance to tell him I like him. Yoongi never got a chance to tell him it wasn't a romantic date.

So much had happened that day, so quickly.

It would have been fine that he missed the dinner, but then a week turned into two and he opted to avoid me and contact Jiwoo to tell her that he wouldn't be coming with me to my award ceremony.

That broke my heart, but I had to pretend like it didn't. Taehyung kindly offered to take me. I thought it would be rude to be so disappointed that Jungkook wasn't going to not focus on the fact that Taehyung would be, so I just sucked it up.

It was a beautiful evening, but I couldn't help but let it be overshadowed by the fact that it should have been Jungkook there with me in that moment. 

I got up from bed as my alarm went off on my phone. I had no reason to be up early, but I still was. I stared across my bedroom at the award on my dresser. I had completely forgotten that I had actually won one of the awards I was nominated for.

Rising Star Chef of the Year.

The realization hit me that I've yet again let another man ruin what should be an exciting and wonderful moment for me. Except this time, it was because he just wasn't there. How embarrassing.  

At least the only people who know are just the people I care about most. Like that helps.

The tears begin to surge in my eyes as I get frustrated with myself and the situation. I throw my pillow at the stupid award as I get out of bed in just a t-shirt and shorts. I had cried most of my makeup off that evening after Taehyung dropped me off at my place. He had asked that we go out to celebrate but I declined and tried to reschedule for another day.

He reminded me that he was just a phone call away if I needed him as he was driven off by the chauffeur. 

I had just thrown off my dress and crawled into pajamas and looked like a raccoon now.

Stupid Jeon Jungkook.

I decided to just let myself cry in broad daylight since I was the only one who lived here anyway. As I managed to step around the pile that was my dress on the floor and made my way to the kitchen, I realized I had been living off of takeout for the past few weeks. My trash was overflowing and, unfortunately, the trash chute was down the hall.