euphoria | jungkookxreader

part 54

I woke up particularly early the morning of the performance. I guess it was the excitement, maybe it was the anxiety, I wasn't sure. Thankfully, I would be getting a chance to practice with them today.

What made me more nervous was that Jungkook was going to be there. After seeing each other for the first time in weeks, I wasn't sure what was going on, but I was absolutely certain of my feelings still.

Thankfully, it seemed like he was still sure about how he felt too. At least, that's how he was acting.

He wouldn't show up to dinner with flowers and apologize if it didn't mean anything right? If he didn't like me still? He picked out my dress.

My eyes wandered over to the dress I had delicately draped over a lounge chair in my bedroom. Unlike the gown Jiwoo had picked for the award ceremony, I had made sure to be extra careful about taking care of this one. Jungkook had picked it out for me.

Jiwoo had already told warned me to just come to rehearsal bare faced because they were going to do my makeup and get me in wardrobe once I got there.

I really loved the song "Friends" and knew it by heart, but performing it in front of their fans was another story. I quickly got dressed in some leggings and a t-shirt to go for a jog before showering to leave for rehearsal. I had to get some of this anxiety out of my system.

For some reason something felt weird about today and I didn't want that to effect my ability to perform with the guys on stage.

As I left the apartment and started my jog, I got a phone call from Jiwoo. I accepted the call and kept jogging with my headphones in.

"Y/n? What are you doing?"

"I'm jogging," I answer between strides.

"Oh my god, are you nervous? It's going to be fine, Y/n," she laughed on the other line. I rolled my eyes. She always said that, and she was usually always right, but it didn't change how I felt.

"Wait, are you nervous about performing? Or.. maybe because Jungkook will be there?"

I stopped in my tracks.

"Did you just call to tease me or is there something you actually need to tell me?" I whined, unaware that I may just look like a crazy person talking to myself on the sidewalk.

"No, I called just to tease you. I figured you'd be up already," she responded nonchalantly.

I huffed as I started jogging again back towards the apartment. We exchanged goodbyes over the phone, but we knew we were both going to see each other in the next hour or so anyway.

-

Once I got back to my apartment, I hurriedly got ready. Jiwoo was right. I was nervous to perform, and yeah, I admit, I was anxious to see Jungkook again now that he was interacting with everybody again.

I couldn't help but wonder what gave him the sudden change of heart. He had solidly ignored everybody for a couple weeks. Everything had to be rearranged and rescheduled in terms of filming, but PD nim was understanding of the situation, luckily. I wasn't necessarily in a hurry either. The longer we delayed filming, the longer I got to spend with all of the guys and Jungkook once we actually started.

Before I knew it, Jiwoo was knocking at my door and hurrying me into a chauffeured vehicle.

The anxiousness that something felt off about today was something that I couldn't shake. Once we arrived at the venue, I met up with Taehyung and Jimin who were excitedly waiting for my arrival.

"Y/n! Here," Jimin said as he handed me an iced coffee. 

"Ah, thank you," I said as I looked around anxiously for Jungkook as secretly as I could.

Taehyung was talking to me but it was really hard for me to focus before they were handing me a microphone and earpiece set to get wired up to rehearse. I couldn't help but feel anxious. Unfortunately, just to add to the anxiety that was already in the air for myself, PD nim insisted on filming the concert because all of us would be there. I understood that we hadn't released any content, but it was going to be my first time performing in front of an audience, ARMY specifically, and it was going to be filmed?

Can today get any more stressful?

As I sipped on my coffee and Taehyung and Jimin argued casually back and forth about who would stand where and sing what, time seemed to fly by faster than I realized. Before I knew it, I was singing the choruses with them for "Friends" and relaxing in between as the rest of them practiced the rest of their sets for the day.

Jungkook was noticeably absent. I tried not to let it bother me, but it really confused me after the way he acted at dinner last night. How could he act so apologetic and then completely avoid me again the next day?

As minutes turned into hours, rehearsal went by and there still wasn't a single sign of Jungkook, but we were moving forward like normal anyway.

I was called into the dressing rooms to get my makeup done and get into the outfits they had planned for the song. As I was getting ready, it was soon time for the concert. I heard one song after another as they were touching up my hair and face, making sure my outfit fit perfectly.

I couldn't help but think about how the guys went through this daily for weeks, sometimes months, on tour. Constantly being worked on and fussed over just to perform for a few minutes, and then they'd do it all over again.

It was aggravating enough to have this many people involved in getting ready, I couldn't imagine what they went through. 

All of their fitting rooms were separate from mine, but I could hear Jungkook's voice loud and clear during all of the performances before mine, Tae, and Jimin's.

So he decided to show up.

 I couldn't help but wonder if it was a late protest because I was here, or if it was just because he decided to show up late. I tried not to let it bother me too much, because before I knew it, it would be time for me to be on stage like the rest of them.

At least the outfit they picked for me is really cute.

I felt confident in the clothes that I was in, but I could still feel the tremble in my knees as I was being instructed to meet Jimin and Taehyung at the lift to bring us to the stage. As I meandered my way over there, I was met with their warm and welcoming smiles and open arms.

"I'm so nervous," I whispered to the both of them, staring at my feet and the microphone in my hands.

Taehyung threw his arm over my shoulder as Jimin casually played with one of my pigtails.

"It'll be fine, Y/n, you're going to do great," Jimin reassured me.

"Yeah, it'll be over before you know it. You practiced enough and you sounded great during rehearsal, so we're going to be fine," Taehyung chimed in.

The crew around us was hustling and bustling to get everything ready and make sure we all looked perfect before heading out on stage. I clung onto those moments as the stylists were doing their final touches. Unfortunately, even they had to let us go as the lift began to propel us towards the main stage in front of all of their fans. 

The lights and intensity began to blind me as the roaring of the fans began to drown out any other feeling I could have possibly felt before.

I suddenly understood what it meant, to them, to feel alive.

Author's Note:

I'm super sorry for such a delay in chapters. I got caught up in a new video game and I have recently had finals for the past few weeks, so I had to finish all my school work first.

The final chapters are coming soon, so please bear with me!