I Would Never Love Him (A STONY High School Story)

Waking Up Still In A Nightmare

Author's Note: It's depression time.

TRIGGERS: Depression, Sad, Crying, Self-Doubt, Little Abuse

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Tony's POV (Dream)

I woke up to a dark void, I felt like I was falling. Everything was dark, there were no lights or places were the void would end. It was very silent until the voices started. They started as a whisper and continued to get louder.

'Worthless, Useless, Ugly, Waste of space, Unlovable, Whore, Slut, Crybaby, Bitch, Freak.'

Voices constantly saying 'Worthless, Useless, Ugly, Waste of space, Unlovable, Whore, Slut, Crybaby, Bitch, Freak.' I placed my hands over my ears, trying to get rid of the voices.

But they continued, now yelling and screaming the harsh words. Worthless, Useless, Ugly, Waste of space, Unlovable, Whore, Slut, Crybaby, Bitch, Freak!

"STOP!" I screamed, at the distant voices.

'Worthless, Useless, Ugly, Waste of space, Unlovable, Whore, Slut, Crybaby, Bitch, Freak!'

"NOOOO!" I screamed, the voices getting unbearable. The voices started to fuse together. Now I couldn't hear what the voices were saying anymore.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I screamed. The black void was making me very claustrophobic. I hated it.

"I WANT OUT!" I screamed, tears running down my face. My head was hurting from the voices still screaming at me.

"LET ME OUT!" I screamed. I opened my eyes when the voices stopped. I noticed the void was gone. Somehow I ended up in a bright room. As the light faded a little. I noticed I was in my room.

"What?" I questioned, as my door opened. There stood Steve.

"Steve!" I yelled, reaching out for him. What I did except was a smack on the cheek. I grabbed my cheek as it stung. Steve slapped me. I started to cry. Not because of the pain, but because Steve slapped him.

"Why?" I whispered.

"WHY!? BECAUSE YOU'RE USELESS, TONY! I HATE YOU SO MUCH!" he yelled at me.

"STOP!" I screamed, but Steve started to kick me.

"STEVE, PLEASE! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!" I screamed, blocking my face from his kicks.

"HA! WHY WOULD I LOVE YOU! YOU'RE WORTHLESS!" he yelled. I cried harder.

Steve never loved me...

*End Of Dream*

I screamed as I wake up from a nightmare I was still in. I leaned forward and cried into my hands. I wanted Steve to comfort me, to tell me it was okay and it was just a dream, but he has Bucky now. I'm useless to him. I want him to wrap his strong arms around me, but I could never get that comfort again, I'm totally worthless.

I wanted everything to go back before today. I was happy and I felt worth something to him. Everything was perfect and now it was ruined. By my own stupidity. Of course, Steve wouldn't want someone like me, Bucky is perfect for him, he's popular and has been his best friend for years, they do everything together. Of course, he would want Bucky and not me.

I was so stupid to think he wanted me. I continued to cry into my hand until there was nothing left for me to cry. I ran out of tears. I slowly sat up from my bed and pulled the covers off of me. I swung my legs over the edge of my bed and stood up. My room was a little dark, because of the rain pouring outside now, the dark clouds covering the sky. The rain was a little comforting to me.

I dragged over to my bathroom and walked inside. I shut the door and leaned against the sink's countertop. My eyes gazing up at myself in the mirror. I was an absolute wreck. My hair was everywhere, my eyes were red and puffy, and the bags under my eyes have darkened. My body was aching, and my nose was running. All around I looked awful. I sighed and leaned down to turn on the faucet. I splashed some water in my face to take and refresh it. After that, I felt a little more awake off. I was gonna lay down again until my stomach growled in protest.

I haven't eaten anything today, so I walked over to my bedroom door and walked downstairs. I noticed that Pietro and Clint were cuddling on the couch, both asleep in each other's arms. Clint of course in one of Pietro's hoodie. I put up a sad smile. I wish I had what they had. They're great for each other. I silently walked into the kitchen, to not wake the sleeping couple.

I grabbed a granola bar and snacked on it, sitting on a stool, near the island counter. I quietly ate my snack, before I headed back to my room, quietly walking to not disturb the ones sleeping on the couch.

I walked up the stairs and went into my room. I laid back down on the bed. My head felt numb at this point. I felt numb, I felt empty. My body was still achy.

I'm still living in this nightmare. I thought as I drift off to sleep again.

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Author's Note: Sad Tony :(