Light of my Life

34. Open up

Nina's POV:

I was sitting on my bed with books surrounding me. It's Sunday and I'm studying for the test I've got tomorrow. Letting out a sigh I lean back on the headboard when I heard noises outside my window.

A few grunts and fuck's were heard as I grabbed the nearby object, my thick book and waited for whoever it was to so their face.

My frown turned to a look of disbelief as I noticed it was my girlfriend covered in winter clothes, tapping on the window with a grin on her face.

What the fuck

I opened the window and let her in before closing it again. "What the fuck are you doing Star?" I hugged her quickly. What? I missed her. Haven't seen her since the dinner and it's been a week. With me drowning in homework and her busy with her own stuff we barely texted everyday.

"Sorry, I just missed you and I couldn't wait" she was panting, from climbing up. Dusting off the snow from her beanie I help her take the extra clothing off.

"Yeah I missed you too but why the climbing? There's a front door you know? And how did you even climb? There's no tree or ladder" 

She chuckled and nodded. "I know. I wasn't sure if your mom would let me disturb while you were studying. As for climbing, the pipes and small roofs over the windows. It was pretty difficult but eh I'm athletic" she shrugged.

I sighed and facepalmed making her pout. "It's not like my mom's gonna send you back"

"Well, this was pretty fun"

"You could've gotten hurt!" I exclaimed, unintentionally louder than I expected.

"Shh sorry babe. I-"

"Nina!" Shit. My mom.

"Quick. Hide" I pushed her into the closet and closed it just as my mom entered.

"What's up?"

"Just wanted to let you know that I'll be late. Finish your assignments and make sure your brother finishes his too"

"Yeah okay" I nodded for extra measure.

"Alright" she turned around only to turn back around.

"Starlyn get out of the closet honey"

No movement.

"Honey I know you're in there come on"

The closet door opened and Star peeked her head out. "You know Mrs. Jensen, it's not nice to force someone out of the closet" she replied cheekily making us all burst into laughter.

I swear to God-

"God that was a good one honey. But you're already half out so get out now. And please use the front door next time. Don't want to see you at the hospital again" my mom joked before leaving us.

"Bye Mrs. Jensen" Star yelled after her before turning towards me with a smug grin.

"What?" I asked.

"You actually laughed at my joke this time"

I facepalmed again and rolled my eyes at her. This girl-

"Why are you here again?"

"Oh um I wanted to talk to you about something"

I raised my brow. "And what is it? Is it bad? Everything alright?"

"Yeah yeah everything's fine. I just, it's okay if you don't want to answer. Sorry if I'm prying I didn't mea-"

"Star it's okay" I cut her off to prevent her from rambling. "Just ask me babe"

She took a deep breath. "Remember at the dinner your brother said some stuff about you"

"Yeah..." I had an idea about where this was going but I wanted her to ask me. Part of encouraging her to openly ask about what bothers her.

"H-he said you used to cry yourself to sleep every night. I know you said something about feeling depressed but you never went into details. And again you don't have to..." She looked up at me, her eyes searching my face to gauge my reaction. I held a neutral reaction before leading her to sit on the chair by my desk as I sat on my bed.

"Yeah. I-I was depressed back then. Freshman year and Sophomore year was pretty rough. Highschool always is but I had trusted a lot of people I called friends. And I had my first relationship mid freshman year. It was nice at first. So many friends. A boyfriend. Something a lot of people wished for." She nodded.

"But then one by one, people started changing. My friends became friends with someone else and just completely forgot about me. They ignored me and it made me feel like shit. My boyfriend of that time was, well he wasn't the best guy obviously. He didn't really care much about me. He couldn't make me feel better when I felt down. And he just wanted to have fun. Not very serious and just wanted to enjoy all the time. I didn't want that. I lost a few friends because of him too. They never spoke to me again."

"And then in sophomore year it just got stressful for me. It got too much. One my bestfriends left too. She was just, gone. To a different country. And I-" I took a deep breath as Star held my hand and rubbed her thumb across the back of my hand, listening to each word intently.

"I hated how I felt. So I hurt myself. Only once. It didn't make me feel better. Jane, Jocelyn and the others were super disappointed and upset. They were worried about me a lot. I then knew that people cared. And hurting myself wasn't the answer. It hurt them too. So with some help from them I managed to get through it. I wasn't completely over it. As they always say, time heals. It did. I wanted to focus only on myself. And then you came in, confusing the hell out of me" I said making both of us chuckle.

"I didn't have a problem with us being friends. Helping you and being there for you when you were down. I cared about you so it didn't seem a big deal. Even when you told me you felt something for me I wasn't bothered. But after that kiss, I was scared. Of trusting another person. To bare my heart and soul to someone. It left me vulnerable and it meant they could hurt me easily. And I didn't want that. So I had built a wall. Several in fact. Not letting anyone in. How you managed to get through I do not know but I'm glad you did. You made me realize a lot of things Star. That's why I decided to let my heart take over. Decided you were worth whatever pain might come. Though I hope and trust you wouldn't hurt me because that would suck"

"Don't worry Nina. I would never intentionally hurt you. And if I ever do unintentionally hurt you, I'm sorry. I'll do my best not to let that happen." I nodded at her words, letting myself believe in her.

"As for your walls, I could see right through it. I knew you were hurt. It was hard because you're one stubborn person" she chuckled. "But I was determined to get you trust me. To get you to open up. Something in me always knew. I didn't expect you to return my feelings but something in me always knew I'd fall for you. But thank you. For sharing this with me. For willingly opening up just to me. I'm glad you made it through Nina. You're one strong soldier" she cupped my cheeks and kissed my forehead. Wiping the few tears that slid down my cheeks and held me in her arms.

I felt safe. And the security she provided, I let myself fall altogether. Not that I've been holding back. It's been pretty difficult to hold back.

"I love you so much Starlyn Foley"

"And I love you too Nina Jensen"

A/N: and there's the story about Nina. I apologize for leaving it out for so long. I didn't really notice it but thank you to my good friend for pointing it out. Hope this was good enough.

Sorry for the late update. And apologies for any mistakes. I'm super tired. Who knew terrace gardening took so much work? Whew. Take care guys. It's stressful times. Eat well and get enough sleep. I'm doing just that. Thank you for reading. Love you all ❤️