The Luna

Twenty-Seven

It's like cold water was dumped on me as I stand there reveling in the truth I now see. Everything is becoming clearer and I feel so stupid to have missed it all.

How could I have missed it all!? 

All Luna's were human and all died young. Caspian kept saying that things would make sense after the Luna ceremony. Even his dad had mentioned that after the ceremony I could talk to other Luna's.

I thought it tragedy and poor choice of words. But the truth is far darker than I thought and I fear it will only become more sinister with every new fact I learn.

I think deep down, a part of me knew the truth - that Caspian and his wolves were too good to be true. I knew there had to be a catch and yet I went along.

The foolish human playing her part.

I can't tell if I'm breathing or if my lungs too have become paralyzed. I feel completely numb and it's not until Austin cups my face in his hands that I even remember I'm not alone.

"They want you alive because you're innocent," his words are soft but strong and slowly the warmth from his hands pushes the numbness away.

But I didn't miss the fact that he didn't confirm or deny my claim, only gave a point as to why I wasn't dead yet. I want to go back and have Emily tell me everything but at the same time, I'm frozen, lost in Austin as if nothing else even exists out of this moment.

Caspian and his titles pushed from my mind as I stare at Austin with wide eyes.

I didn't see it coming, and I certainly wasn't looking for it, and yet, here we are. The feelings are growing and denying them now will be nearly impossible for me.

I'm lost in his whiskey gaze, searching for any sign that he feels even a semblance of what I am. But he gives nothing away and I force myself to remember that despite what I feel, Harper was right.

"You're just saying that because you feel guilty about earlier," I turn my head away, causing his hands to drop from my face as I take a step around him, "I wasn't scared you would hurt me if that makes you feel better,"

"But you were scared," his voice stops me as I near my door, "I had scared you and I'm sorry. Everything crashed around me at once. One minute I had been with you...had almost -" he stammers, trailing off with a shake of his head.

He almost what? Almost kissed me? Had he wanted to, in that moment, kiss me like I had him? The air seems to crackle around us, the atmosphere from this conversation taking a sudden turn from friendly and apologetic, to something else. Something more.

"Five minutes later I was trying to find you, to get you somewhere safe and you were just gone," anger tints his tone but it's nowhere near where it was earlier today, "I felt responsible because I was with you and you just disappeared so easily without a trace, just," he makes a poof motion with his hands, shaking his head in disbelief.

He closes the distance between us but doesn't enter my personal space. His eyes searching mine, looking for something and I wish I knew what. I would give it to him, in that moment I was certain that if I knew what he was searching for, I would claw it out from where ever it was hiding inside me and hand it to him on a silver platter.

"I'm sorry,"I whisper, unsure what else to say under the intensity of his gaze. Austin shakes his head, his face pinching together in frustration.

"I should be sorry for scaring you. I became frustrated that after all that time thinking the absolute worst, you were a few doors down in a closet and I had missed it,"

"I wasn't scared you were going to hurt me," I say again, not wanting him to beat himself up over something that wasn't the problem.

With everyone standing between us, I knew that even if he shifted there would be enough bodies to hold him back. I could have gotten away and I had the cloak to do again what I did the first time and hide.