Thirty-Three

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"And then I got to thinking that if I told you about the Luna's of legend being human and what the horrid pack had in store for you that you... you wouldn't want to get to know us," Emily takes a much-needed breath after rushing through what she wanted to say, looking up at me from beneath her lashes, "and I wanted you to know us - to know that we are not all monsters," 

"I'm not mad," I say for what really must be the hundredth time since she found me sweeping the front steps and asked me to talk inside. 

I don't know why I was sweeping the front steps. I just kept thinking about how good it felt to be doing something useful. It's so hard to feel useful around a bunch of superior wolf people, but cleaning... cleaning I can do. 

Plus it gave me a much-needed distraction from Austin. It's impossible to not feel the ghost of his lips on mine.

The feel of his hands pulling me, holding me - haunting me - hours after he went back to the training field. 

I don't know how long I stood in the kitchen, fingers touching my lips as if I could hold him a little longer. But eventually, I started wiping down the already clean counter and just went from there. 

"And if it makes you feel better, I forgive you," I reach over from where I'm sitting on the sofa and grab Emily's hand just so she can see that I'm being sincere. 

Emily keeps her eyes on me and I can practically see the gears turning. She's looking for any sign that I am lying to her. I'm not going to get out of this without being completely honest. 

I huff in annoyance, letting her hand drop from mine as I lean back against the couch. I didn't really want to get too deep into this. I told her I wasn't mad, why must I have to go deeper? 

"Okay, yes, I was caught off guard when Austin mentioned it. And I was upset that you hadn't told me. But after being able to think about it, I realized that it didn't matter," I pause, noting the skepticism that still colors Emily's face. 

I'm not explaining it right. How can I put this to her?

"You were right," I say slowly, the words forming in my head, "had you told me upfront that as a Luna I was destined to die by Lotus' hands, I wouldn't have wanted to hear anymore. I wouldn't have wanted to know the story or even anyone in this pack because I would have constantly wondered what exactly you were going to do with me. So, no. I'm not mad." 

Emily hesitates a moment before a smile starts to pull at her lips.

"Does it have anything to do with being with Austin?" she wiggles her eyebrows suggestively and bites her lips but underneath that, I can tell that she's relieved that I'm not mad. 

I just wish I could stop the blush from crawling up my cheeks. I'm so jealous of those people who just don't blush - they just keep a straight face and give nothing away. 

"I'm happy for you Mia, you deserve to be happy," It's her turn to reach over a grab my hand in hers, "just remember what we said before, be careful."

The hair on the back of my neck bristles and I'm instantly suspicious. There are many things that I don't know about wolves and their lifestyles - and I accept that. 

Learning about them isn't something that I can do overnight. I might not even be able to do it if I stay here an entire year, but I'm satisfied with what I know for now. 

Unless there is something that Emily isn't telling me. Something that impacts any type of relationship Austin and I have. 

"Does he have a girlfriend?" The words leave my mouth and I want to kick myself almost immediately. 

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