now or never (LUKE PATTERSON)

10

As the boys were done practicing they were quite sweaty and tired so they sat down all sprawled out in the garage. Lydia laughed before speaking.

"You guys sounded amazing." Lydia stated. "Thanks, that means a lot." Bobby spoke, nodding gratefully. "I love the lyrics to now or never." Lydia continued to compliment them and the boys all smiled over to Luke. "Thanks, I wrote that when I needed courage..I guess." Luke said awkwardly since the attention was on him and he barely had an answer. "I write songs...sometimes, but they sound nothing like that." Lydia didn't mean to put herself put herself out there but she was so consisted on complimenting them that she hadn't even noticed.

Luke popped up from his comfortable position in excitement. "That's awesome! Can I read some lyrics?" Luke asked. He was always ready to read songs and make the come alive. It was fun to make the tempo and beat. Lydia's eyes widened, realizing what she had did, but then again, it was Luke. It wasn't a bad thing, the boy was also understanding.

"I would let you...but my book is at home." Lydia had lied though. It was in her backpack but she felt like she was on the spot and she'd be too embarrassed and insecure to show him. It was too in the moment and she wasn't ready.

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Reggie waved to the girl and she waved back as walked over to her front door and started to unlock it. Once Lydia finally got it opened, she walked inside of her house and waved one last time and so did Reggie. He then drove off and she closed her door with a huge smile on her face. She had fun, this was her first time having so much fun without Riley and Justin.

Alex had tried teaching her a couple of easy beats on the drums, Reggie also tried helping her play easy tunes on the bass.

She had a "riff off" with Luke even if she sucked at playing guitar, Bobby was the judge of the contest and declared that Lydia won, which she knew she didn't but the boys all said she did better than Luke, including Luke.

She couldn't stop smiling as she locked door behind her. Lydia couldn't wait to tell her mom about her fun today.

Though she noticed that voices coming from her kitchen, she continued to make her way there. Once Lydia walked into the kitchen, her smile dropped at the sight of someone she couldn't prepare herself to see.

"Hey, Lyds. I missed you."

Lydia eyes began to water and she ran upstairs. "Lydia!" Her mother called as she ran after her.

Lydia plopped her face in her pillows trying to hold back her tears but they quickly fell down her face.

"Lydia." The woman said whilst rubbing her back. "W-why is he here?" Lydia spat, sounding muffled since her face was still tucked into her pillows. "He just wanted to stop by, he's in town for a month and he missed you." Mercedes said making Lydia finally turn her head from out of the pillows.

"He missed me? He didn't even call for the time he was gone. What kind of dad leaves with no warning then shows back up saying he misses me!? Not only that he didn't even have the guts to tell me that he had a new family, he made you tell me!" Lydia said as tears fell down her face. She didn't want to admit how much she missed him because she was upset with him.

Mercedes sighed as she hugged the girl tightly. "I know, but he just wants closure with us." Her mom reassured her, but it only made the girl sigh deeply as she closed her eyes. "He was gone for months, six months and I hoped that he'd call everyday..and he didn't mom, he didn't call once. How can you just accept that he randomly shows up after half a year and says that he wants closure? It hurts to look at him mom. I missed him, but I-I'm just so upset." Lydia spoke. Mercedes held back her tears for her daughter. The two had always avoided this conversation. And now was finally the day they talked about how they really felt.

"Look, we're all going to have dinner tonight, you don't have to say anything. Okay?" Her mom asked and she nodded slowly as they pulled away from the long hug. "I'll talk." Lydia gave in, she couldn't ignore her dad even if she was upset with him. Her mom nodded as she wiped the tears off her daughter's face and kissed her forehead. "I am so sorry that you have to go through this." Mercedes apologized as she got up and walked towards the door. Lydia shook her head. "It's fine mom." Lydia said as she watched her mom walk out of her room. She got up and quickly grabbed her backpack and walked over to her desk, went through her backpack to get her lyric book.

She then opened it up to a fresh new page and began to write whatever came to mind. They weren't lyrics, they were her feelings. All she could do was rant.

edited

writing in a notebook can be a good thing. even if u think its dumb, just get a pencil and paper and write ur feelings in them. just rant to the page. u can read over and over again, you can rip it up and throw away, after. it doesn't matter. just make sure your feelings can be heard in any kind of away. u don't have to always build them up. and no, im not saying that it'll magically work and you'll feel better right after, but im saying that expressing urself (even if its only for ur eyes) can really help at times. im still working on it, so u should work on with me too if u feel like u need it.

i hope someone needed to hear this🫶🏽