SERENDIPITY; DRACO MALFOY

chapter 30

Y/N POV

Next morning...

My dreams had him in it. My thoughts were always about him. Why couldn't he just leave my fucking mind? I fell for his stupid game. He got what he wanted. Fucked me then left. I was the toy that got played with.

Grabbing the closest thing next to me I picked up the small vase next to my desk and threw it at the door. Glass pieces shattered everywhere. My hand bled but I didn't care. There was no pain, I felt absolutely nothing.

I had the urge to cry. No. You don't cry over a fucking boy Y/n. I kept breaking everything I found in the room. It's my way of getting my anger out, breaking things. A lot of screaming too. Luckily I was by myself. Daphne probably was with Theo. She came back late last night and I pretended to sleep. Astoria was well I don't know.

The room was a mess once I was done. There was a knock on the door. It was Pansy.

"Hey girl- woah what the fuck happened?" She came in and saw the mess in the room. I just stood there not able to say a word.

"Y/n your hands are bleeding. Answer me what happened! What did he do?" Pansy took my hands and did a quick healing spell. The blood that was once dripping was gone. Pity. She made me sit on my bed and hugged me tightly. I just wanted to be alone. I felt numb.

"I heard moans. Coming from his room. He- he-" And there came the tears. Pansy gasped softly and let me cry into her shoulder. I was an absolute mess. "Shh, it's okay y/n. It's okay."

The sun was shining brightly. Birds chirping happily. A new day has just begun and here I am crying. Crying over someone who doesn't deserve to be cried over. Someone I may have actually developed some time of feeling for. I blame my heart.

Pansy wiped my tears and gave me a small smile. "You're going to go to take a long shower while I clean everything up alright?"

I nod and headed to the bathroom. I stripped off my clothes and head into the shower. The water was scorching hot just how I like it. It felt like rain, warm and steady, awakening my skin. Steam filled the bathroom in an instant.

All my thoughts came rushing back. Cedric's a better guy for me. He cares about my feelings truly. I'd rather be with him than the boy who used me for a quick fuck.

But at the same time, I don't deserve Cedric. I feel awful for using him to get back at Malfoy. He doesn't deserve that. I really should give him an actual chance where we both get to know each other. Not me running back to Malfoy.

Fuck him. He can go do whatever girl he wants. Malfoy really let me think he actually cared. Then fucked me and I didn't even oblige. How could I be so stupid?

I don't understand why I'm hurting. Did I really not expect this to happen? For him to just use me? Pretend to be there for me so he can get in between my legs? I feel absolutely disgusted with myself. It's the fact that I let him!

I don't care. I don't.

Keep telling yourself that you don't care.

At the same time, I think I do. About Draco fucking Malfoy.

Why?

Where are these fucking feelings coming from?

I don't want them, no I don't need them.

I didn't realize how long I've been in the shower. The hot water really woke me up. Putting on a sweatshirt and shorts, I looked in the mirror.

It's okay. I told myself.